Guy #1: What are you gonna do for your spare?
Guy #2: I don’t know, probably get a sandwich and beat off in the library.
High School
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Nick
Guy #1: What are you gonna do for your spare?
Guy #2: I don’t know, probably get a sandwich and beat off in the library.
High School
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Nick
Guy: Hey, the Pussycat Dolls are coming to Montreal!
Girl: Cool.
Guy: Wanna go?
Girl: Yeah! We can sit in the front row and masturbate!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/06/10/as-though-ejaculating-at-that-christina-aguilera-concert-wasnt-enough/
Overheard by:
Skinny brunette: How many calories do you burn masturbating? Gross, I know…
Skinny redhead: I read in Cosmo that it’s somewhere between one-fifty and two hundred.
Skinny brunette, gasping: See?! People ought to promote masturbation more! This is why America is getting so fat! No one is touching themselves!
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/itll_be_bigger_than_pilates.html
Overheard by: then why am I so fat?
Dude: Have you ever masturbated?
Chick: Uh… No…
Dude: Seriously? To me that’s like… like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, ‘I’m going to tip that shit over.’
Eugene, Oregon
Guy on cell: Hey… Rainy… Ummm, well, yeah I’ve kind of played with it, but not to fruition. Hold on, I’m on the L in Chicago. Hey, guys, Jeff* wants to know if you’ve ever masturbated while driving on a long car trip.
Friend #1: No.
Friend #2: No.
Guy on cell: Nick* and Joe* say no. Hey, um, I gotta go…
Chicago L
Illinois
Overheard by: J to the P
Hobo: You ever wanted to punch an asshole in the face? Now's your chance, one dollar! I deserve it! I club baby seals, I vote Republican, I masturbate way too much! Quit laughin' and start punchin!
Church & Duboce
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: C
Stoned girl at party: I don't think I'm gonna call him back, he was fingering me in pretty rapey way.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Girl: First, string cheese. Then masturbation!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
3L law student: He’s just irritating. He’s like one of those people who masturbates to Scalia decisions.
http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/03/im-kennedy-man-myself.html
Gay man: Listen, we've all shat, we've all farted, we've all touched ourselves, and we've all used a dildo.
Girls: Ummm… no.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
