(outside of a coffee shop downtown late at night)
Hipster chick: So then I went to the store and found out the shoes were discontinued but…
Creepy guy (with unzipped and unbuttoned pants): What are you guys talking about? Can I talk or are you going to kick me out?
Hipster chick: Uh… (looks around for a quick exit) No man, you can stay. We're talking about shoes.
Creepy guy: You're so hot. No, really. I would kiss you like you'd never think about shoes again.
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Julia M
Drunk man to woman passing by: Fornication is evil! Thou shalt be kind to your neighbours!
Woman: Yeah, well, god built the Nevada desert and the Colorado River and then we came and built the Hoover Dam, leaving people without water or resources. So just by being here we're fucking over our neigbours.
Drunk man: Can I kiss you?
Outside The Flamingo
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Steph
Soldier: What is that thing?
Passenger #1: An iPhone.
Passenger #2: Man, where the hell have you been?
Soldier: Iraq.
Flight from Minneapolis to Pittsburgh
Overly optimistic girl: He’s kinda sketchy, but in a nice way.
Passing stranger: Not possible!
Concordia University
Montreal
Canadia
Man: Hey, asshole, get off the cellphone.
Dude: Excuse me…?
Man: The street car is a public space. Get off the cellphone or get off the street car!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes! I don’t want to have to hear you yapping away–
Dude: –Why don’t you get off, then, buddy?
Man: This is a public space! Stop polluting the space with your hot air!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes.
Dude: No! [Into cell] Oh, nothing, Bruce. Just some loser on the street car…
Man: Hey!
Dude: Yeah?
Man: You’re fat and ugly, you know that?
Dude, leaving: Screw you!
Man, to entire street car: I do this every Sunday…
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: damn hiatus
Guy to girl: Hey, remember when my grandfather went through that phase where he wanted us to be Jewish?
Passerby: It’s overrated.
Guy: … What?
Passerby: Being Jewish — it’s overrated. There’s a lot of baggage.
Public Gardens
Boston, Massachusetts
Crew member: Sir, you can’t stand here.
Old man, blocking walkway: [Ignores him.]Crew member: Sir! This is a walkway.
Old man: This is foolishness!
Passerby: Why don’t you just die, already?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: uncomfortably waiting for the damn fireworks
Native American woman to lady dressed as Indian: I find your costume very offensive.
Lady dressed as Indian: No… But I’m part of the Village People [points to girls dressed as cop and construction worker].
Native American woman, after long pause: Oh, well, that’s okay, then.
Calgary Stampede
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Guy to girl dancing on street corner: Shake that ass, girl!
Girl: Thank you!
Guy: Sorry, I’m being an asshole.
Girl: It’s okay — I got the goods!
Chicago, Illinois
Man browsing anime collection: [Sneezes.]Bystander: God bless you.
Man browsing anime collection: Yes, yes, I am blessed.
Newbury Comics, Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sinner
