Soldier: What is that thing?
Passenger #1: An iPhone.
Passenger #2: Man, where the hell have you been?
Soldier: Iraq.
Flight from Minneapolis to Pittsburgh
Soldier: What is that thing?
Passenger #1: An iPhone.
Passenger #2: Man, where the hell have you been?
Soldier: Iraq.
Flight from Minneapolis to Pittsburgh
Overly optimistic girl: He’s kinda sketchy, but in a nice way.
Passing stranger: Not possible!
Concordia University
Montreal
Canadia
Man: Hey, asshole, get off the cellphone.
Dude: Excuse me…?
Man: The street car is a public space. Get off the cellphone or get off the street car!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes! I don’t want to have to hear you yapping away–
Dude: –Why don’t you get off, then, buddy?
Man: This is a public space! Stop polluting the space with your hot air!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes.
Dude: No! [Into cell] Oh, nothing, Bruce. Just some loser on the street car…
Man: Hey!
Dude: Yeah?
Man: You’re fat and ugly, you know that?
Dude, leaving: Screw you!
Man, to entire street car: I do this every Sunday…
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: damn hiatus
Guy to girl: Hey, remember when my grandfather went through that phase where he wanted us to be Jewish?
Passerby: It’s overrated.
Guy: … What?
Passerby: Being Jewish — it’s overrated. There’s a lot of baggage.
Public Gardens
Boston, Massachusetts
Crew member: Sir, you can’t stand here.
Old man, blocking walkway: [Ignores him.]Crew member: Sir! This is a walkway.
Old man: This is foolishness!
Passerby: Why don’t you just die, already?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: uncomfortably waiting for the damn fireworks
Native American woman to lady dressed as Indian: I find your costume very offensive.
Lady dressed as Indian: No… But I’m part of the Village People [points to girls dressed as cop and construction worker].
Native American woman, after long pause: Oh, well, that’s okay, then.
Calgary Stampede
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Guy to girl dancing on street corner: Shake that ass, girl!
Girl: Thank you!
Guy: Sorry, I’m being an asshole.
Girl: It’s okay — I got the goods!
Chicago, Illinois
Man browsing anime collection: [Sneezes.]Bystander: God bless you.
Man browsing anime collection: Yes, yes, I am blessed.
Newbury Comics, Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sinner
Express care doctor: Really, I think Kevorkian had the right idea. He just went about executing it the wrong way.
Marquette General Hospital
Michigan
50-ish guy: … And now I inherited his twin sister!
Woodstock, New York
