English teacher: Yeah, I dated this girl one time and she took a class and learned middle English. She memorized the beginning of The Canterbury Tales in middle English so she was like, “Do you want to hear The Canterbury Tales in middle English?” And I was like “yeah!” and she said it, and it didn't even sound like English. It was crazy, like chanting or something. I was about to propose to her just then. But I got over it.
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Oi, is that a Manchester United shirt?
Eight-year-old Japanese boy: Herro.
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Hello, you cunt.
Japan
Cat being carried by a morning walker: Meaow! Meaow meaow!
Morning walker: Yeah yeah yeah, okay. Then what happened?
Cat: Meaow!
Morning walker: Really? So what did you do?
Joggers Park
Vashi, Bombay
India
Little kid in stroller: Ouaf! Waf! Ggrrr! Ouaf!
Mom: Oh yeah! Yeah!
Little kid in a stroller: Ouaf! Waf! Ggrrr! Ouaf!
Mom: Yeah! That’s it. Yeaaaah!
St Laurent Boulevard
Montréal
Canadia
Overheard by: Augustime
[Chinese girls whispering.]Girl #1 yells: What?! You slept with him last night and didn’t come home until three this morning?!
Girl #2 yells back: In Chinese, stupid!
Bus
Chicago, Illinois
American guy: Hmm, what should we have for desert?
French girl: I’ve been craving crab cakes. With frosting.
American guy: Uhh, you mean cupcakes?!
3rd St West Hollywood
Los Angeles, California
Muslim girl: Ramadan Mubarak!
Girl: What does that mean?
Muslim girl: It means, like, “Yay, it’s Ramadan!”
Girl: So, like … “Yay, I’m not eating or having sex most of the day!”?
Ottawa
Canadia
Husband to wife showing him Greek Bible: Honey, if English is good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.
Barnes & Noble
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: aharon
Teen girl #1: Lemur? What the hell’s a lemur?
Teen girl #2: Lemur is French for ‘light.’ You know, like the candlestick on Beauty and the Beast — lemur.
Teen girl #1: You’re so smart. How do you know this shit?
Teen girl #2: I took two years of French.
Lemur Exhibit, Denver Zoo
Denver, Colorado
American guy: Could you stamp my passport, please? It’s a hobby of mine.
Passport checker to coworker, in German: These damn Americans always want something. Look, they’ve all got booze and bags and t-shirts. Now they want stamps.
American girl: Sir, I’d like mine stamped, too.
Passport checker, in German: I bet that girl was here to fuck guys. American girls become sluts in Europe.
American girl: Sir, that’s not very nice!
Passport checker, still in German: I hate it when they know German. Then we can’t talk about them!
Airport
Cologne
Germany
