On the phone

Female cashier on cell while ringing up items: Of course I wash my hands after I go to the bathroom! [Long pause, then smirks flirtatiously.] Ew, Jonathon! [Lowers voice] I don’t do that to myself — especially not into my hands…

Staples
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: very amused

Angry guy on cell: Billy, I have one word for you — fucking piece of shit!

Sterling, Virginia

Dude on cell: Okay, here’s what you do — invite everyone over, fill the sprinkler systems with paint, and then just see what happens!

Mimi’s Café
Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: MF Orange Slice

Girl on cell: She’s either completely wasted or having a diabetic attack, I’m not sure.

Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Girl on phone with boyfriend: I’m in such a bad mood, I don’t even know! When I get home, you better not have a smile on your face or I will slap yo’ ass. Misery loves company up in here, bitch!

Williamsburg, Virginia

Overheard by: C. Barreto

Old lady on cell in crowded train: Yes, I’m here in a sardine tin, but everyone is really nice…

Tel-Aviv
Israel

Overheard by: claustrophobic

Girl on cell: How did the labia reduction go?

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Hello, you’re in freakin’ public!

Girl on cell: I mean, if I was a freshman I would’ve been all over him, but I’m not anymore and it sucks. Now I’m all paranoid about diseases and stuff, and I can’t just do whatever I want — I actually have to think about things.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/09/wednesday_115941463493658903.html

Overheard by: gladimnotoneofthose

Drunk chick on cell: Wait! You didn’t like Shaun of the Dead? What’s wrong with you? Never mind, you can’t stick it in me.

Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Shotboy

Fat lady crying into cell: I know he’s married, but I don’t understand why he’s dumping me!

Colonie Center Mall
Albany, New York

Overheard by: conflicted