Sorority types

I’m More of a Brawny Gal

College girl #1: Ew, why does it all run out?
College girl #2: Well, it is a liquid.
College girl #3: And your vag isn’t exactly full of Bounty paper towels!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Somewhere There’s a Live, Cheerful Half of a Rat, and No One Knows How Heavy He Is

Girl #1: And I was like: “How many depressed lab rats do you have to weigh and kill to figure that out?”
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: 37.5, apparently.

Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota

This Argument Makes Your Editors So Tired We Must All Take Naps Now

Sorority girl to lit class: So she was all saying that I was totally against feminism if I insisted on shaving my legs. And I said she was totally against feminism if she insisted on being a whore!

University of Nebraska
Lincoln, Nebraska

So I’ll Stay with Him Until I’m Skinny Enough to Do Better

Skinny sorostitute: Every time I see him he just makes me want to throw up.

Arizona State University
Arizona

Overheard by: Lindsay

Alice Passed; Her Liver Failed

Girl, walking across campus with friends: I think two beers and a shot is the perfect amount for that class!

University of Arizona

Why Is That Always Your Question?

College girl: I really want to go as Superman!
Friend: You aren't going to stuff your crotch, are you?

Melbourne University
Australia

Hmmm… Ulysses. That Sounds Good.

Sorostitute #1: Yeah, the handbook says I can either take two foreign language classes or two literature classes… So, like, I took the literature classes because, like, at least I can read that, y’know?
Sorostitute #2: So true…

Patterson School of Accountancy, University of Mississippi
University, Mississippi

I Eat It Before Those Orgies with the Football Team

College girl #1: Eating raw fish makes you super fertile.
College girl #2: Really?
College girl #1: Yeah, thats why I get pregnant so much.

Japanese Restaurant
Richmond, Virginia

He’s Part Woodpecker

Sorority chick, from across room: Hey, do you wanna go steady?
Frat guy: Sure, when?
Sorority chick: I dunno… Let me ask my boyfriend and get back to you.
Frat guy: Sweet. Just as long as I get to tap that.

Iowa

Overheard by: confused and disgusted

…Even You with Your Thunder Thighs, Zeus.

College girl to friend: the nice thing about a toga is that you don't have to wear Spanx with it.

Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado

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