Girl #1: All they talked about was fannies… And tits… And… Fuckin’… Something else.
Girl #2: Rugby.
Girl #1: Yeah. Rugby.
Warwick
England
Girl #1: All they talked about was fannies… And tits… And… Fuckin’… Something else.
Girl #2: Rugby.
Girl #1: Yeah. Rugby.
Warwick
England
Mother to ten-year-old son at supermarket check-out queue: And then we’ll go and look for a dress for me.
Ten-year-old son: I’m not going clothes shopping with you. You go in every shop, you try everything on, you never like anything and come home with nothing and I’m not standing around waiting!
[All male members of the queue cheer.]
Luton
England
Man in cow suit: I know lots of people here too. That’s why I am keeping a low profile. Well, as much as a man in a cow suit can.
Putney Walkabout
London
England
Chef #1: So, were you on the old devil’s dandruff over the weekend? The old Colombian marching powder? [Chef #2 stares blankly and silently.] Is that a yes?
Belfast City Centre
United Kingdom
Tall guy: When we get back to the flat we should measure how tall we all are.
Shorter girl: … Why?
Tall guy, in creepy, monotone voice: … I like to measure people.
Manchester
UK
Overheard by: Scared by-stander
Guy: … But in a collision between a goat and a castle, who would win?
Chick: I think the goat would. It’s quite a big goat.
Lecturer: Remember — it’s allegorical.
History seminar, British university
UK
