Shopkeeper: How’s your wife? Did they take her in to have the baby yet?
Shopper: Yeah, they took her in this morning to be seduced.

Northern Ireland

Overheard by: limeinside

Little girl, repeatedly: Bow-chicka-wow-wow!

Barnes & Noble
Melbourne, Florida

Mom reading book: This says ‘odd.’ Do you know what ‘odd’ means? It means something is funny or weird. Like when you said you wanted to eat a rock — that was odd.

Red Line train
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Sitting behind them trying not to laugh

20-ish girl: Wait… Is it the Specific Ocean or the Pacific Ocean?

Sarasota, Florida

Father looking at sign: Look! You could work here when you start school.
Son: Why would I want to work here? They can’t even spell ‘prerequisite’ right.
Father: That’s because it’s per-quisite.


Overheard by: glad to be sharing a school with this kid

Kid #1: Man, you always say that word when you’re drunk.
Kid #2: Yeah, I know. I need to stop watching that Michael Richards video.


Dude: What are some words that rhyme with ‘chicken’?
Chick: Frickin’, lickin’, hair.
Dude: ‘Hair’ doesn’t rhyme with ‘chicken’!
Chick: Yeah, it does — chicken, hair; chicken, hair.
Dude: Yeah, I guess it kind of does.

Metro bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Macho dude in Student Government Association: I'll smite you with my boobs!

Tunxis Community College, Connecticut

Overheard by: Girl in Black

Aikido student: Um, Sensei, I think there's spit on the mat…
Sensei: There's sweat on the mat?
Aikido Student: No, spit.
Sensei: Oh, spit! That's gross!

Humboldt State University
Arcata, California

Overheard by: Eli

Girl #1: Do you think the actress who plays the deaf girl on Weeds is actually deaf? She looks deaf.
Girl #2: You're retarded.
Girl #1: That's not very PC.


Overheard by: jessica l