Disgruntled mother: If I catch you biting your nails again, I am going to cut off your hair in your sleep.
Gloucester Road
London
England
Overheard by: Never want to have children
Disgruntled mother: If I catch you biting your nails again, I am going to cut off your hair in your sleep.
Gloucester Road
London
England
Overheard by: Never want to have children
Oxford boy #1: I’m going to stab you in the heart.
Oxford boy #2: Last night you stayed at my house and now you want to stab me in the heart?!
London-bound train
United Kingdom
Overheard by: snickering american sisters
Meathead to swooning girls: I’m just gonna eat your ovaries! Raaawwwrrr!
Commonwealth Avenue bus, Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts
Boyfriend: You know what happens when you get between me and something I want, right?
Girlfriend, on his lap: I go in the hole?
Boyfriend, puzzled: No… I… I move you out of the way…
Westfield State College
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: It was a brownie he wanted
Macho dude in Student Government Association: I'll smite you with my boobs!
Cafeteria
Tunxis Community College, Connecticut
Overheard by: Girl in Black
New male employee: You shouldn’t open the lettuce like that.
Old female employee: Don’t tell me how to do my fucking job!
Manager, yelling from across store: Watch out! She’ll cut you!
Jimmy John’s
Charleston, Illinois
Overheard by: I just want my sandwich
Six-year-old #1: I'm taking you to court!
Six-year-old #2: No you're not!
Six-year-old #1: I'm taking you to court!
Six-year-old #2: No you're not!
Six-year-old #1: You're in court!
Six-year-old #2: No I'm not!
Six-year-old #1: You're in court now!
Six-year-old #2: (begins to cry)
Small Town
Maine
Overheard by: Willem Rosenthal
English professor: Outer space is occupied by evil orientals.
Marymount University
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Sarah Yvonne
Mom to little girl touching display: Honey, don’t do that! [Kid keeps doing it.] I said don’t do that! Do you want to go to Hell?
Little girl, scared: No.
Mom: Then don’t touch that.
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: the girl behind the register
Wife: This is the last chance. I’m really going to file for divorce unless you’re willing to work at this.
Husband: I deserve someone that I won’t cheat on.
Omaha, Nebraska
