Threats

Meathead to swooning girls: I’m just gonna eat your ovaries! Raaawwwrrr!

Commonwealth Avenue bus, Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts

Boyfriend: You know what happens when you get between me and something I want, right?
Girlfriend, on his lap: I go in the hole?
Boyfriend, puzzled: No… I… I move you out of the way…

Westfield State College
Westfield, Massachusetts

Overheard by: It was a brownie he wanted

Macho dude in Student Government Association: I'll smite you with my boobs!

Cafeteria
Tunxis Community College, Connecticut

Overheard by: Girl in Black

New male employee: You shouldn’t open the lettuce like that.
Old female employee: Don’t tell me how to do my fucking job!
Manager, yelling from across store: Watch out! She’ll cut you!

Jimmy John’s
Charleston, Illinois

Overheard by: I just want my sandwich

Six-year-old #1: I'm taking you to court!
Six-year-old #2: No you're not!
Six-year-old #1: I'm taking you to court!
Six-year-old #2: No you're not!
Six-year-old #1: You're in court!
Six-year-old #2: No I'm not!
Six-year-old #1: You're in court now!
Six-year-old #2: (begins to cry)

Small Town
Maine

Overheard by: Willem Rosenthal

English professor: Outer space is occupied by evil orientals.

Marymount University
Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Sarah Yvonne

Mom to little girl touching display: Honey, don’t do that! [Kid keeps doing it.] I said don’t do that! Do you want to go to Hell?
Little girl, scared: No.
Mom: Then don’t touch that.

Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: the girl behind the register

Wife: This is the last chance. I’m really going to file for divorce unless you’re willing to work at this.
Husband: I deserve someone that I won’t cheat on.

Omaha, Nebraska

Male professor, in a very girly voice: Aaaahhh! I'm being trampled by sea horses.

UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Guy at ID counter: I’m sorry. Don’t shoot the messenger.
Old lady: I’d rather shoot the police…

http://overheardinumcp.blogspot.com/2006/10/uhhh.html

Overheard by: tom