Dock worker #1: Well, personally, I prefer a nice, stiff rod.
Dock worker #2: Really, a stiff one?
Dock worker #3: I’ve got a stiff rod for you, motherfucker.
Dock worker #1: We’re talking about bass fishing here, asshole.

Tracy, California

Overheard by: Ken Lane

Woman pointing at cadaver: Oooh. I’d love one of those for home!

Creepster: There are so many internet cats in my life I can’t keep them all straight!

301 Heller Drive
Santa Cruz, California

Creepster: The penis hole showcases my spare tire rather well.


Burly dude: No, seriously, the thing about anal is it’s warmer, tighter, and you hardly ever get shit on your dick!

High school cafeteria
Lawrenceville, Georgia

Overheard by: we were scared for his tiny girlfriend

Customer to clerk: Maybe my idea of sex is sticking a drill in your head.

Visible Voice Books
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: phoebe

Builder to another during break: Mate, I tell you — that fish was happy.


Creepster: … And that’s why all the women in Paris wanted to stroke my head.


Overheard by: Laura

Goth girl: So by working to benefit communism, they started to think that communism wasn't actually so bad!
Creepy guy: You know, some people say that young people aren't deep. You've proved them wrong. (leaves)
Fat friend: Good thing he didn't hear us talking about how Sims should be able to sell drugs.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Dude to older lady: What do you mean, you don’t know what a hooker is? [To security guard] Hey, tell my mother what a hooker is.

Columbus, Ohio