Goth girl: So by working to benefit communism, they started to think that communism wasn’t actually so bad!
Creepy guy: You know, some people say that young people aren’t deep. You’ve proved them wrong. (leaves)
Fat friend: Good thing he didn’t hear us talking about how Sims should be able to sell drugs.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Dude to older lady: What do you mean, you don’t know what a hooker is? [To security guard] Hey, tell my mother what a hooker is.

Columbus, Ohio

Creepy lurky guy at bar (walking up and smelling girl sitting at table): Sorry y’all. Just smells really good.
Friend of girl (giving guy a dirty look): That was awkward.
Creepy lurky guy: Well, maybe you shouldn’t be here then.
Friend of girl: Well, maybe you shouldn’t be trying to smell us.

Blue Martini
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Ariola

Small Mexican man in hot dog suit: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me.
20‐ish chick waiting to cross street: No, thank you.
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me!
20‐ish chick: No, really — thank you, but I’ll pass. [Muttering] God, will this light ever change?!
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me!

Wrigley Field
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Cubs Fan

Man at airport: I’m gonna go hug that kid. Maybe then his mom will start keeping an eye on him.

Overheard by: tim

Creepy, vacant‐eyed hipster, apropos of nothing: Jesus loves you. He made you. He shows me things.

Overheard by: Jen

Dude to two chicks: So, my friends are really nice… Just don’t accept any drinks from them.

Overheard by: nate

Creepy guy with shriveled arm: Nah, I haven’t used in a couple months. But if I wanted to start again, I got a savings account now.

5 Bus
San Diego, California

Overheard by: mhd

Fat guy: So, I was getting head when all of a sudden I got this case of explosive diarrhea! I shitted everywhere, dude!

University of Hartford
West Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Joa

Guy, crying: Ahhh! I just had sex with Stephen Hawking right up here, in my head!

Biloxi, Mississippi