Creepsters

Cute lab tech guy: So, to take a stool sample, take this stick and smear it in here.
Hot girl patient: I have to smush it?
Cute lab tech guy: Yep, like that. So, do you have a boyfriend?

Park Nicolette Clinic
St. Louis Park, Minnesota

Skinny guy in tank top showing girl some crumpled mugshot: Have you seen this man before?
Girl on treadmill: Ummm, no?
Skinny guy: Well, he’s a rapist, and he’s at large. So if you see him, or if you get scared at night, just give me a call [hands her a phone number].

Gym
Cary, North Carolina

Man: I just get turned on by nuclear holocausts.

Gateway High School
Florida

Overheard by: Pilbur

Meathead to swooning girls: I’m just gonna eat your ovaries! Raaawwwrrr!

Commonwealth Avenue bus, Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts

Mid-40s thrift store lady, to VHS of Hidalgo: Mmm, mmm — Viggo Mortensen. Any time, any place, anywhere, any hole. You know it.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/would-steven-segal-have-been-less.html

Overheard by: little bald bastard

Dock worker #1: Well, personally, I prefer a nice, stiff rod.
Dock worker #2: Really, a stiff one?
Dock worker #3: I’ve got a stiff rod for you, motherfucker.
Dock worker #1: We’re talking about bass fishing here, asshole.

Safeway
Tracy, California

Overheard by: Ken Lane

Woman pointing at cadaver: Oooh. I’d love one of those for home!

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/07/i-see-and-crave-dead-people.html

Creepster: There are so many internet cats in my life I can’t keep them all straight!

301 Heller Drive
Santa Cruz, California

Creepster: The penis hole showcases my spare tire rather well.

Minnesota

Burly dude: No, seriously, the thing about anal is it’s warmer, tighter, and you hardly ever get shit on your dick!

High school cafeteria
Lawrenceville, Georgia

Overheard by: we were scared for his tiny girlfriend