Are You Using a Stick?

Loud guy in restaurant: So, we were out shopping and there were all these women in burkas taking pictures of each other. How fucking pointless is that? It’s not like they’re going to look back afterwards and go, ‘Oh, look, there’s Doris by the fountain!’

England

Posted on October 22, 2020
Default, Fashion, Gripes, Guys, Religion, Stupidity, UK

To Errol Is Human. My Dick: Divine.

Greek girlfriend: She misses you baby.
English boyfriend: Hm?
Greek girlfriend: She misses you.
English boyfriend: Who misses me?
Greek girlfriend: Helena.
English boyfriend: Who's Helena?
Greek girlfriend: My vagina, baby.
Indian guy at table: You named your snatch Helena?! Really? You named your vagina?
Greek girlfriend: Sure, don't you have a name for your dick?
Indian guy and English boyfriend, at same time: No.
Greek girlfriend: I've always thought of your dick as being called Errol, baby.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on November 7, 2018
Couples, Feelings, Names, Penis, Sexuality, UK, Vagina

She Escaped from the Closet and Alerted Red Riding Hood

Fat suit on cell: Damn that grandma!

Russell Square Station
London
England

Posted on September 17, 2018
Age and ageing, Family ties, Fat people, Guys, Insults, Public transportation, Suits, UK, Words

You're As Big a Disappointment As Your Mother!

Elderly lady to six-month-old baby: Now, I want you to say nice and clearly, “here I am, grandmother,” when I ask you where you are.

Oxford
England

Posted on July 28, 2018
Age and ageing, Bringing it back to you, Family ties, Kids, Old folks, UK