Crazy homeless dude: One time this guy called the cops and said I was waiving a scalpel above my head. They put me in an institution for 72 hours. I kept trying to explain to them why I had the scalpel, and they just kept telling me I wasn't a doctor.
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Brooke
Policeman opening doors of Social Security office: Before I let you in, does anyone have any weapons?
Tiny old lady jumping the queue: Just my fist!
Wilkesboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jen
Little boy (pointing to a plastic butterfly): Mommy, what's that?
Mom: That's a butterfly. Do you like butterflies?
Little boy (timidly): No…
Mom: Why not?
Little boy: They hurt me.
The Mall
Victoria
Canadia
College guy: He's going to be the kind of teacher who punches his kids' sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly? I don't think so! Peanut butter and smush!
ECU Dining Hall
Greenville, North Carolina
Energetic little boy: Can I punch him?
Harassed mom: You can punch him later.
Lake Arrowhead, California
(math test is interrupted by a loud construction drill in the next room).
Student: Oh my god, I can't take this test anymore! Can you tell them to stop, please?!
Teacher: Heh… At least there aren't bullets flying over your head.
Concord High School
California
Overheard by: When I was in Vietnam
Guy: So, you can talk about stabbing puppies but I can’t talk about punting babies? That doesn’t seem right.
Girl: That’s exactly right.
Rutgers Stadium, New Jersey
20-something guy at baseball game: My nipples are bleeding because of her. She deserves it.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/309168160/what-is-payback-for-bloody-nipples.html
Overheard by: 5 rows up
Jewish man: I am not sexist!
Jewish man’s friend: You are so sexist Archie Bunker is embarrassed.
Jewish man: I’m not sexist. I’ll stab a chick in her junk!
Israeli Martial Arts Class
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Ari
