Little boy waiting in line with his mom: Mommy, have you ever been ripped apart?
Lane Bryant
St Cloud, Minnesota
Overheard by: Jesi
20-something guy at baseball game: My nipples are bleeding because of her. She deserves it.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/309168160/what-is-payback-for-bloody-nipples.html
Overheard by: 5 rows up
Jewish man: I am not sexist!
Jewish man’s friend: You are so sexist Archie Bunker is embarrassed.
Jewish man: I’m not sexist. I’ll stab a chick in her junk!
Israeli Martial Arts Class
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Ari
Adult woman to girlfriend’s six-year-old daughter: Oh honey! You got your knees all skinned up with boo boos! What happened?
Six-year-old girl, shrugging: Oh, you know… Boys.
South 4th St
Louisville , Kentucky
Professor: So if we played the word association game, and I said the word “ice cream”, Tiffany might say “playground” because she used to eat ice cream on the playground. And then maybe if I said the words “ice cream” to Tom, he might say “sex” because he’s a serial rapist.
Tom: But I’m not.
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Colin
Ex-husband: I can’t believe you brought a date to our divorce hearing.
Ex-wife: Fuck you! You hooked up with a girl in court.
Ex-husband: I didn’t “hook-up” with her, we made plans for lunch today.
Ex-wife: And that’s better?
Ex-husband: Actually, it’s quite impressive. I rock, you suck, I’m getting laid tonight.
Ex-wife: I got laid last night.
Ex-husband: That’s because you are a dirty hooker.
San Diego Family Court
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Sean
Girl on cell: Listen, he is not a nice guy. Anyone with handcuffs permanently attached to his bed frame is not a nice guy.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Girl #1: It was cause and effect, he bit me on my hip.
Girl #2: So you slept with him?
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
TA: It’s like Anna Karenina in two hours, with shotguns and Satan.
UCSC
Santa Cruz, California
Guy #1: What did the bear say when he walked into the bar?
Guy #2: [Blank stare.]
Guy #1: Roarrrr. He’s a fucking bear, what else would he say! [Laughs out loud.]Guy #2: I haven’t seen you in two months, and this is what you start with? You are a fucking idiot.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Amber
