Teacher: So, the koala bears are pretty much high all of the time. They fall off the trees. I have videos!
High School
Londonderry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: humanities student
Teacher: So, the koala bears are pretty much high all of the time. They fall off the trees. I have videos!
High School
Londonderry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: humanities student
Spaced-out kid: And I think it was some kind of message in that out-of-body experience. Like, it was my soul trying to tell me that after I finished puking, I should take a shower.
Teenage queer: Your dreams are fucked.
St. Andrew’s College
Aurora
Canadia
Grungy dude, pointing to expensive vacuum: You should get this one. It sucks up everything!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but I don’t have much carpet. I need, like, a Broom Vac or something.
Grungy dude: A Broom Vac?! Put down the crack pipe!
Target
Baltimore, Maryland
Drunk guy on cell: Dad, I can’t talk right now, I’m surrounded by FBI agents, but I’ve got your $100, your beer, and your marijuana. Oh, and your toilet paper. [Pause.] No, dad, FBI agents. [Pause.] I don’t know, they’re all beautiful women.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl#1: I mean, my parents have no money now. Dad lost it in his “snort” phase.
Girl#2: My mom had that phase, but now she’s just into the “prescription” phase.
Girl#3: That’s a great phase.
Banana Republic
Kitchener
Canada
Professor: I’m on drugs… And they’re not fun.
Ohio University
Athens, Ohio
Overheard by: thereallc
Kid: I want to go swimming!
Dad: They don’t have any smoking rooms here, and I gotta smoke. We have to go somewhere else.
Kid: Can’t you just go outside and smoke?
Dad: It’s snowing outside! You’d like it if I had to go out in the cold and snow just so you could go swimming, wouldn’t you?
Kid: But they have a pool here! I want to go in the pool!
Dad: That’s all you do… All you do is think about yourself! I gotta smoke!
204 Hendersonville Road
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Taryn
Professor: So the wars of opium wars were fought because the Chinese didn’t want their citizens smoking their bongos and being loopy.
Student: Wait, bongos?
Professor: Yeah those pipe things… Bongos, right?
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Erika
Smug TA: While I was with her I was doing crack. She had no idea.
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Professor: You may not be the target audience. You may not be on drugs!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
