Muscle gal: You are such a fuckin’ pussy.
Muscle guy: Fuck that, I could take a seven-foot black man.
Muscle gal: Awww, I know.

West County YMCA
St. Louis, Missouri

Man on cell: I know she just thinks I’m this creepy guy, but I know better.

Cary, North Carolina

Little boy: You used to have a pocket knife, mommy!
Mother, laughing nervously: No, I didn’t!
Little boy: Yes you did! You used to!
Nervous mother: No, I never did! I never had a pocket knife! Please don’t tell the police that!

Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Muffin

YMCA guy #1: People seem generally smaller to me.
YMCA guy #2: Hmmm.
YMCA guy #1: I dunno, people just seem smaller. I feel like I could walk up to anyone and smash them in the face. But I am really predatory. I wish it was the middle ages, I would be all, “I?m the Goverrnator!”
Elvis impersonator, swinging his hips: John Edwards got nothing on me!

Baton Rouge, Louisiana