North Carolina

Professor: I don’t care what you say, there’s nothing worse than eating a baby.

Community college
North Carolina

Overheard by: First row fanboy

Incoming freshman, about required pre-entry reading: We should not have to be exposed to new ideas we might not agree with.

University campus
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Overheard by: yeah, now my brain hurts

Chick: Okay, here’s your hundred thousand dollars, and there’s the mall. And I’ll just be sitting here sprouting a penis.

Carrboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: Li’l Bit

Lady: Damn! This dress done makes me look like I gave up on life!

Dressing room
Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: Ursulav

Confused guy on cell: What I don’t get is, what part of the country are there people like this? I mean, I draw the line at spitting in someone’s asshole!

Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: whylime

Girl: I wonder why there are so many Japanese restaurants around here?
Guy: Probably because there are a lot of Mexican people living in this town.

Very Little Town
North Carolina

Black lady on cell: I said, ‘Yeah, I’m black, but dat don’ mean I be makin’ counterfeit money!’

Food Lion
Sanford, North Carolina

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Student #1: The professor wanted us to list our ten favorite books.
Student #2: So?
Student #1: All I could think of was “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.”

East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina

Hot drunk chick: That’s why I can’t sleep at night — because people in Knoxville wanna fuck dogs!

Barley’s Taproom and Pizzeria
North Carolina

Overheard by: Drunk Patron

PA: Paging arriving passenger Juan Sanchez from Mexico City. Please return to gate B4 to retrieve your piñata.

Charlotte, North Carolina