Professor: Does this fit into his expanding and contracting magical porn circle?
Washington University
St Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: You can't laugh in a four person class
Professor: Does this fit into his expanding and contracting magical porn circle?
Washington University
St Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: You can't laugh in a four person class
English teacher: Yeah, I dated this girl one time and she took a class and learned middle English. She memorized the beginning of The Canterbury Tales in middle English so she was like, “Do you want to hear The Canterbury Tales in middle English?” And I was like “yeah!” and she said it, and it didn't even sound like English. It was crazy, like chanting or something. I was about to propose to her just then. But I got over it.
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Friend #1: I totally agree about simple dates. I think a great date would be for me and a guy to just ride a concubine together.
(pause)
Friend #2: You mean a “combine”?
Kansas City, Missouri
College girl to friend: He’s a really scary driver. He’ll go fifty on gravel roads. I mean, I go fifty on gravel roads, but only if I’m really, really drunk.
El Rancho
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: RW
Suit #1: I can’t believe I’ve lost them again!
Suit #2: Are we talking about dildos still or the midgets?
McDonald’s Parking Lot
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: I wish I heard the first part of this conversation
Hipster guy: Yeah, it probably didn’t help that I gave you poison ivy and then threw up on you.
Bar
Columbia, Missouri
Jewish man: I am not sexist!
Jewish man’s friend: You are so sexist Archie Bunker is embarrassed.
Jewish man: I’m not sexist. I’ll stab a chick in her junk!
Israeli Martial Arts Class
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Ari
Freshman #1: So… where is he from?
Freshman #2: He’s from the part of Georgia where they ass-rape you.
Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: New Yorker hopefully about to graduate
Girl: I think my ribs are double-jointed.
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Mother to son: One day you will eat blood, and your stomach will say, ‘Oh, no, no, no!’ and it will come right back up.
Steak & Shake
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Mallory
