Friend #1: I totally agree about simple dates. I think a great date would be for me and a guy to just ride a concubine together.
(pause)
Friend #2: You mean a “combine”?
Kansas City, Missouri
Friend #1: I totally agree about simple dates. I think a great date would be for me and a guy to just ride a concubine together.
(pause)
Friend #2: You mean a “combine”?
Kansas City, Missouri
College girl to friend: He’s a really scary driver. He’ll go fifty on gravel roads. I mean, I go fifty on gravel roads, but only if I’m really, really drunk.
El Rancho
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: RW
Suit #1: I can’t believe I’ve lost them again!
Suit #2: Are we talking about dildos still or the midgets?
McDonald’s Parking Lot
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: I wish I heard the first part of this conversation
Hipster guy: Yeah, it probably didn’t help that I gave you poison ivy and then threw up on you.
Bar
Columbia, Missouri
Jewish man: I am not sexist!
Jewish man’s friend: You are so sexist Archie Bunker is embarrassed.
Jewish man: I’m not sexist. I’ll stab a chick in her junk!
Israeli Martial Arts Class
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Ari
Freshman #1: So… where is he from?
Freshman #2: He’s from the part of Georgia where they ass-rape you.
Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: New Yorker hopefully about to graduate
Girl: I think my ribs are double-jointed.
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Mother to son: One day you will eat blood, and your stomach will say, ‘Oh, no, no, no!’ and it will come right back up.
Steak & Shake
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Mallory
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: At the bowling alley!
Armor Road
North Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Caesar22
