Fears

When I Come Back with Half a Face, It's on Your Conscience

(little girl follows older sister into the bathroom)
Older sister: Sarah, do not come in here with me! I'm on the phone!
Sarah: But I have to go to the bathroom! Besides, you're just talking to your boyfriend.
Older sister: Sarah, I mean it! Go up to the room.
Sarah: You know daddy doesn't let me go in the elevator by myself.
Older sister: Just do it, he's not going to know.
Sarah: But someone could take me!
Older sister: Yeah right, who would want you?
Sarah: The Vice President of the United States!

Marriot Hotel
Teaneck, New Jersey

But Hand Me Your Checkbook and I'll Eliminate Your Debt

Stoner chick: I really wish I could bite something and for once, not have to worry about it disappearing.

Bakersfield, California

Overheard by: don't we all?

Or Write Angry Slam Poetry. Whichever Is Less Humane.

Wild-haired diner outside restaurant (seriously): If I don't get tenure next year, I don't know what I'll do. I'll have to … I don't know … I'll have to just blog about it.

Bloomsbury, London
England

How Heidi Met Seal

Female suit: Do you know how scary it is to have a black man fall on you in the middle of the night?!

Mesa, Arizona

Seymour Glass Was Such a Sensitive Child

Little boy (pointing to a plastic butterfly): Mommy, what's that?
Mom: That's a butterfly. Do you like butterflies?
Little boy (timidly): No…
Mom: Why not?
Little boy: They hurt me.

The Mall
Victoria
Canadia

What Do You Think the Midget with the Butterfly Net Is For?

Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I’m not wearing any underwear.
Friend, sarcastically: Aren’t you afraid your baby’s going to fall out or something?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/275491256/thats-why-she-carries-glad-bags.html

Overheard by: what not to expect when you’re expecting

And He Usually Takes Duct Tape As Well

Girl: Hey, does anyone know if Stu* is still alive?
Guy: What? Why?
Girl, laughing: Because he went out into the woods last night with nothing but a lighter and a can of tomato soup.

Egremont, Massachusetts

Overheard by: lily

Wasn’t I Right About 2000– and 2001?

Goth chick: Don’t talk to me about the year 2012. The year 2012 is seriously pissing me off.
Otaku chick: Try to stick around for 2013 anyway. Just trust me on this one.

University Plaza
Colorado State

The Question Every Rock Of Love Contestant Must Eventually Face

College-aged girl on cell: How am I supposed to date him if I’m afraid he’s going to kill me and keep my vagina in a jar?

Grocery Store, Kentucky

And Letting My Baby Steer

College girl to friend: He’s a really scary driver. He’ll go fifty on gravel roads. I mean, I go fifty on gravel roads, but only if I’m really, really drunk.

El Rancho
Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: RW

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