Skinny guy with pink hair: I don’t think I could be any more bad‐ass.


Freshman ho #1: But… Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah… I’m, like, sooo good! I’ve been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.

Overheard by: newm

Bearded college guy: I almost saw a high school girl’s vagina today!

Overheard by: a. lil

Guy #1: I can speak Italian.
Guy #2: How do you say “cheese” in Italian?
Guy #1: Ha! That’s easy, “mozzarella”!

Italian Restaurant
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Chloe

Guy: I have to use the girls’ room ’cause there is just vomit everywhere in the men’s and a guy, like, dying or something.
Girl: Well, that’s what you get for moving to the East side! Apparently no one vomits at bars on the West side. We here on the East side are all about vomit. It’s, like, totally cool.

Ladies’ room, 4100 Bar, Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Erin

Burly male student: I hope they’re okay with my nudity. I’m pretty sure I’m nude about 25 percent of the time.

University Student Center
Boston, Massachusetts

60‐year‐old journalism professor: Oh, the choking game? Heh… I play that all the time.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Husband: I’m good at finding little kids’ panties.
Wife: That’s not a quality that you should announce.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Chick #1, to class: Sorry I stink. I just got back from soccer practice.
Chick #2: That’s okay. My cat peed on my shirt before I left the house.

Palm Bay, Florida

Male mountain biker: All we ever did was make out. And that’s not what I want in a relationship. If I wanted a hook‐up buddy I’d at least get one who would suck my dick. I mean, there’s like 14 girls I could go to right now. So that’s why I broke up with her.
Female mountain biker: Yeah… She was pretty straightforward though, wasn’t she?

Crafton Hills, California

Overheard by: they didn’t even notice I was wearing hiking in slippers