Male bartender: So, let’s all take off our shirts and then you can take pictures of us.
Waitress: Oh, we already did that!

Overheard by: the next table over

Man jumping out of port-a-potty like a gymnast: … And he sticks the landing!


Overheard by: only at DRAM

Confused girl to another: You’re a man-whore? I’m a man-whore, too!

Overheard by: anonymous

Girl yelling out window to friend: Bitch! I am the motherfuckin’ bishop Don Juan of proving points!

Colfax bus
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: lauren

Butcher in bloodstained apron: My soul is pure and untainted.

Portland, Maine

Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Richmond, Virginia

Skinny guy with pink hair: I don't think I could be any more bad-ass.


Freshman ho #1: But… Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah… I’m, like, sooo good! I’ve been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.

Overheard by: newm

Bearded college guy: I almost saw a high school girl's vagina today!

Overheard by: a. lil

Guy #1: I can speak Italian.
Guy #2: How do you say “cheese” in Italian?
Guy #1: Ha! That's easy, “mozzarella”!

Italian Restaurant
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Chloe