Seven-year-old boy to small sister at counter: Get out of the line! You on the line and I'm exquisite. I'm exquisite! I'm exquisite! I'm exquisite!
H&M
Washington, DC
Seven-year-old boy to small sister at counter: Get out of the line! You on the line and I'm exquisite. I'm exquisite! I'm exquisite! I'm exquisite!
H&M
Washington, DC
Angry traveler: The flight’s canceled because of weather?!? Can’t you do something?
Airline counter man: Ma’am, despite my godlike appearance, I cannot control the weather.
O’Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: He’s not so Godlike
Ex-husband: I can’t believe you brought a date to our divorce hearing.
Ex-wife: Fuck you! You hooked up with a girl in court.
Ex-husband: I didn’t “hook-up” with her, we made plans for lunch today.
Ex-wife: And that’s better?
Ex-husband: Actually, it’s quite impressive. I rock, you suck, I’m getting laid tonight.
Ex-wife: I got laid last night.
Ex-husband: That’s because you are a dirty hooker.
San Diego Family Court
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Sean
Preppie guy: … And I said, “That’s why I trade corn futures!” [Entire table erupts in raucous laughter.]
Ethiopian restaurant, 12th & U
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ladle
Female professor: I may not be the best literary critic of the century, but I know when I’m in a fucking whorehouse.
Combs Hall
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Little boy #1: [Makes peeing sound, pretends to pee.]Little boy #2: That’s nothing! Feel the wrath of my penis!!
Macy’s in Fashion Square Mall
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Stephanie
Annoyed suit: Sir, don’t make me break out the “Canterbury Tales!”
Washington, DC
Freak in furry pants and top hat, to fellow freak: You’re the friendster of alien abduction services, and I’m the myspace: You did it first, but I did it better.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: LeeKelly
