Overheard in Law School

Professor, as it snows out of season: If I wanted to see white powder this time of year, I’d buy some fucking cocaine! Not that I’ve ever bought drugs… But if I did, the statute of limitations has long passed… Okay, let’s talk about bribery!


Overheard by: legal lush

Professor: Well, Miss Two-L, I am going to need a better legal argument than, ‘It seems really shady,’ but that’s a good start.


Overheard by: kks

3L law student: He’s just irritating. He’s like one of those people who masturbates to Scalia decisions.


Guest speaker: What are the rules for language in this class?
Professor: Go right ahead. You can say ‘fuck’ all you want.


Torts professor: S-and-M aside, you don’t go out and purchase pain and suffering.


Overheard by: bh

Property professor: They’re only on the land about 25 days a year, and they get full possession? ‘What the fuck?!’ as they say!


Overheard by: sa

Criminal justice professor: Babies are hard. I almost had one die on me. It was pure luck it survived.


Overheard by: citycat

Second year student: So, what do you do when your potential client is not being straight with you?
Professor: If you can’t get at them frontally, get at them sideways.


Overheard by: bootstraps

Professor: Can you tell us about the conversion of Ireland?
Student: I dunno. Something about Saint Patrick and a snake? I’m not sure what he did with the snake.


Overheard by: jw

Student: He called me a bitch. Only my mom calls me a bitch.