While a Choir Sings, My Liquified Remains Will Be Flushed Down a Golden Drain

College freshman: I keep making plans for my funeral, and they keep getting better!

San Francisco State University
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Anne

Posted on May 30, 2023
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Happiness, San Francisco, Students

We Can Bond by Watching the Footage Together Later

Mom: A 21‐year‐old girl from Oshkosh died today, but they aren’t saying how.
College daughter: A house blew up this morning… Well, a mobile home, actually.
Mom: And it killed that 21‐year‐old girl?!
College daughter: Well, no. They’re unrelated. Actually, I’m just trying to upstage you… But a house really did blow up.

Appleton, Wisconsin

Posted on May 16, 2023
Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Girls, Moms, Violence, Wisconsin

Is That Yiddish for “a Moment”?

Tall gay 20‐something male on cell: My niece died. I need a Fresca.

CVS
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on April 6, 2023
Death & dying, Drinking & drunks, Family ties, Feelings, Gays, Guys, Massachusetts, On the phone, Stores, Wishes

The Sierra Club Got a Restraining Order Against Her

Woman #1: Hey! Look! Trees!
Woman #2: No, you can’t get one. Not after you killed the last one we gave you.

De Anza Flea Market
Cupertino, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Posted on March 24, 2023
California, Death & dying, Default, Shopping, Stores, Weirdness, Women

If Aesop Wrote Fables in Chicago

Woman: I wish I hadn’t had hooters for breakfast!

Fitting Room
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on March 9, 2023
Death & dying, Fashion, Food, Illinois, Wishes, Women

Turns Out Hell Is Nicer Than Michigan

Bimbette on cell: I thought I’d died, and then gone to, like, not heaven.

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on January 26, 2023
Bimbettes, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Fears, Michigan, On the phone, Religion

After a Long Winter, the Root Cellar’s Empty

20‐something hipster to friend: So…I’m officially out of corpses.
Friend: Dude!

Portland, Maine

Posted on January 16, 2023
Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Friends, Hipsters, Maine, Weirdness

Grand Theft Auto: Apocalypse May Have Gone Too Far

Teenage ghetto boy: That’d be great, man, if everyone died … They’d be gone, and we could take all their cars!

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on January 2, 2023
Black people, Bus, Crimes, Death & dying, Default, Guys, Teens, Violence, Washington, Weirdness

The 1990’s Called…

Philosophy professor, proving his argument: Therefore, if I don’t get a little crazy, then I’m never gonna survive.

Michigan State University
Michigan

Overheard by: sjshock

Posted on December 13, 2022
Character, Class, Death & dying, Default, Guys, Mental illnesses, Michigan, Teachers, Threats

Thankfully the Stupid Seem to Always Die Off First

Environmental science teacher: What, in your opinion, is the most pressing environmental issue our planet faces today?
Clueless redhead, raising hand unsurely: Is it… The birds?
Environmental science teacher: Excuse me?
Clueless redhead: Isn’t there something up with birds? Like, aren’t they dying or something?
Environmental science teacher: Um… Thousands of different animals are dying…
Clueless redhead: Oh. I thought it was just birds.

High School
Los Angeles, California

Posted on October 4, 2022
Animals, Birds, California, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Stupidity, Teachers

Death & dying