Death & dying

Girl #1: Whatever happened to that bird?
Guy: Which one? The original?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Guy: It’s in Professor Long’s* lab. I put it in a bag and squeezed the air out, so it shouldn’t be rotting too much.
Girl #2: It’s going to smell so bad when you open it.
Guy: No, it won’t…
Girl #2: Uh, yeah it will. You’d better open it up, drop it, and run away for a few hours.
Guy: Oh, come on, for Christ’s sake! After I removed the scent glands from a skunk with my bare hands and sawed its head off, what could be worse?!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/breaks-broke.html

Overheard by: kinda creeped out

Girl with fake sword to group of fifty kids with fake swords (prepping them before their war in the park): Today is not about living, today is about dying. You will die at least 100 times today. And you will love it!

Clark Park
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: afraid of kids

Three-year-old daughter, passing Catholic church: Dead people live there.

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Joe Oxford

College freshman: I keep making plans for my funeral, and they keep getting better!

San Francisco State University
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Anne

Mom: A 21-year-old girl from Oshkosh died today, but they aren’t saying how.
College daughter: A house blew up this morning… Well, a mobile home, actually.
Mom: And it killed that 21-year-old girl?!
College daughter: Well, no. They’re unrelated. Actually, I’m just trying to upstage you… But a house really did blow up.

Appleton, Wisconsin

Tall gay 20-something male on cell: My niece died. I need a Fresca.

CVS
Boston, Massachusetts

Woman #1: Hey! Look! Trees!
Woman #2: No, you can't get one. Not after you killed the last one we gave you.

De Anza Flea Market
Cupertino, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Woman: I wish I hadn't had hooters for breakfast!

Fitting Room
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Bimbette on cell: I thought I’d died, and then gone to, like, not heaven.

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan

20-something hipster to friend: So…I'm officially out of corpses.
Friend: Dude!

Portland, Maine