Chick to friend: Can I get that pulled out of my cervix in September?
Davis Square
Somerville, Massachusetts
Chick to friend: Can I get that pulled out of my cervix in September?
Davis Square
Somerville, Massachusetts
Little old lady to husband: I don’t care how many times you’ve washed it or how clean it is! I’ve lived 60 years without my tongue making acquaintance with your asshole, and I’m not about to introduce the two of them now!
St. Louis Street
Lebanon, Illinois
Overheard by: AlternknitiveKnitter
White girl to Asian guy: So… How often is Chinese New Year?
http://overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tom
Guy #1, leaving the bar: I’ll see you later.
Guy #2, still nursing his drink: Yeah, if I don’t die first.
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: molly
Burner chick: Yeah, I was going to run around the desert naked on drugs last night, but I just never got around to it.
Burning Man
Black Rock City, Nevada
Overheard by: McNasty
Hot girl: I haven’t had sex in so long.
Cute friend, nodding: Mmmm.
Hot girl: Nobody pays attention to me…
Cute friend: It’s ’cause you only have boyfriends.
Hot girl: Yeah… And… [Whispers] I kinda like pooping.
Tampa, Florida
Newbie: How do I know when the French toast is done?
Supervisor: When it looks like French toast.
Oceanview Terrace dining hall, UCSD
San Diego, California
Dude: Have you ever masturbated?
Chick: Uh… No…
Dude: Seriously? To me that’s like… like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, ‘I’m going to tip that shit over.’
Eugene, Oregon
Blonde tanning at pool: Someone set the alarm for five minutes — I’m gonna stare at the sun.
Columbia, Missouri
Dude #1: So, when the hell did you start smoking cigarettes?
Dude #2: Last week.
Dude #1: Why the hell did you do that?
Dude #2: I wanna stop smoking pot.
University of Miami
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Stosh
