Guy: Well, I’m not gay.
Girl: The jury is still out on that.
Guy: Fine. Let me know when the jury gets in.
Girl: Let me know when you have sex again!
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jess
Guy: Well, I’m not gay.
Girl: The jury is still out on that.
Guy: Fine. Let me know when the jury gets in.
Girl: Let me know when you have sex again!
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jess
Middle-aged black woman to friend: You gotsta have TP. You gotsta wipe yo’ ass.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/04/nope-i-give-everyone-stink-palm.html
Overheard by: anonymous
Dude #1: So he says, ‘If you can walk a straight line, you can come into my bar.’
Dude #2: And then he got raped!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: ummmm
Dude: What did you bring for lunch?
Chick: A banana.
Dude: Won’t you be hungry?
Chick: No, I’ll eat it really slowly. That way it’ll last the whole day and I won’t worry about eating until I get home.
Dude: The whole day? Won’t it get brown and nasty? Do you want me to buy you a sandwich?
Chick: I said I’m eating a goddamn banana. Stop forcing your devil food into me!
overheardinchicago.blogspot.com
Girl: Have you read Derrida?
Guy: Who?
Girl: Derrida! If you’re going to go to France and get laid, you’ve got to know who Derrida is.
Berkeley BART
California
Overheard by: Rhiannon Stone
Dude to chick: But seriously, aren’t you afraid that when you give birth you’re going to shit yourself?
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/03/28/explosive-diarrhea-twins/
Dude: She totally sandbags! You know she sandbags?!
Chick: Like there’s a hurricane.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: pineapple
Girl: I’m using super advanced alien technology!
Guy: I’m using… a pumpkin!
Wheaton, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Party-goer: She is the only person I know who has a favorite appliance!
Moroccan restaurant
Seattle, Washington
Girl, about sister’s boyfriends: That was Bob* — he wanted to marry her.
Guy: Bob was kinda creepy.
Girl: Bob was not creepy! He had a job.
Guy: If that’s your only qualification for ‘not creepy’–
Girl: –He just faked his own death. But he got it out of his system — he won’t do it again.
DMV
Virginia
Overheard by: much less bored now
