South Carolina

Teenage waitress telling baby boomer male customer her medical issues: Yeah, and I got this tail thing right here. (points at lower back) It looks like I'm growing a tail.

Fatz Cafe
Lexington, South Carolina

Drunk girl to another drunk girl puking at the curb: Girl, it's okay girl. You're still cute, girl.

Greenville, South Carolina

Guy walking opposite traffic on a one-way street: If I get hit by another car my mom will be pissed.

Clemson, South Carolina

English teacher: Calling someone a douche is not a constructive comment, even if it’s true.

Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina

Yuppie teen girl #1: I’m sooo glad it didn’t happen when those boys were looking at the restaurant!
Yuppie teen girl #2: Your face is totally like a target for their… like… stuff.

Hotel elevator
South Carolina

Overheard by: wtf are you talking about?

Chick #1: Hey, how was your weekend?
Chick #2: It was really fun — my wart fell off!
Chick #1: Really? How?
Chick #2: I don’t know! It just fell off. It was the best weekend ever!

Charleston, South Carolina

Hipster: Anal leakage is never funny.

Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Katie

Religion professor: Why did Jesus die?
Student: Loss of blood?

College of Charleston
South Carolina

Big black lady in checkout lane: This place is a hell of a lot better than Wal-Mart.
Companion: Tell me about it.
Big black lady: Last time I was in there, my blood pressure was, like, eight hundred over five hundred.
Companion: Mmm-hm.
Big black lady: I was seeing stars. Pretty colors, though. Man, I should not have seen cats.

Target, Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina

Overheard by: amused cashier

Short girl: I’m gonna go and buy you a birthday card.
Tall girl: Yeah, you didn’t buy me anything for my birthday!
Short girl: Yes, I did! I bought your fingers!
Tall girl: Oh, yeah! [Laughs.]

Magnolia Mall
Florence, South Carolina