Overheard in Philly

Loud woman #1: My friend is on that. When you fart, it makes you shit oil.
Loud woman #2: Really?
Loud woman #1: Yup, you shit oil and grease.


Overheard by: grossed out

Dude #1: Yeah, I go to gay bars sometimes.
Dude #2: Really? So, are you saying you like guys?
Dude #1: No, I don’t like guys, but when I go to gay bars I just dance with them and flirt with them. It’s not like I have conversations with them.
Dude #2: … So then maybe you’re bi?
Dude #1: No, I’m just a people person.


Overheard by: mr. Wtf?

Trendy girl: I can barely find the energy to ambulate!


Overheard by: try walking

Guy yelling at roommate from window: Hey, Jimmy*! The girls are the ones without the penises!


Overheard by: anonymous

Adorable professor, winking: See, now, it would be just like I came on Beth* and then winked at her.

Haverford College

Overheard by: not beth

Hipster: Yeah, well, at least she stopped huffing paint.


Overheard by: anonymous

Student on cell: So, I was going to call you back, but I didn’t want to call you.


Nine‐year‐old boy: Mom, my stomach hurts.
Mom: Then take off your pants.


Overheard by: academia

Frat guy: You ever been to the Franklin Mills Mall?
Bimbette: No! I live in King of Prussia! If I left King of Prussia to go to any other mall, it’d be like leaving Italy to eat at an Olive Garden. No!


Overheard by: impressed, she has a point

Little kid: Mommy, why are there so many Asians here?


Overheard by: renee