Professor: So, say that you’ve got Brad Pitt… And Angelina got eaten by a giant cobra. And it’s maybe a year later and Brad’s kind of eyeing Jen, and she’s eyeing Vince, and maybe he has an affair with Claire Danes. And now Brad asks you to write an elegy for Angelina. What problems might you run into?
Medieval Literature class
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Guy: Well, I’m not gay.
Girl: The jury is still out on that.
Guy: Fine. Let me know when the jury gets in.
Girl: Let me know when you have sex again!
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jess
Little girl, singing: Hey! I’m a crazy bitch, but I fuck so good you’re on top of it when you dream of doing me all night…
Father: What the fuck?! Are you trying to get taken by the social worker?!
Food Court, Connecticut Post Mall
Milford, Connecticut
Man jumping out of port-a-potty like a gymnast: … And he sticks the landing!
Campground
Connecticut
Overheard by: only at DRAM
Macho dude in Student Government Association: I'll smite you with my boobs!
Cafeteria
Tunxis Community College, Connecticut
Overheard by: Girl in Black
White, middle aged music professor: I don’t do sevenths. Homie don’t play that.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Frustrated neighbor: It’s only gay if we do it outside a vagina!
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jess
Girl #1: I got a lot of color without being in the sun very much; just in the car.
Girl #2: I'm so jealous!
Girl #1: Well, I also went to the tanning salon…
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Professor: … But then he said that maybe drag isn’t a great idea before you’re tenured.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Girl to friend: That’s the last time I catch a falling baby.
Farmington Valley, Connecticut
