Connecticut

Nun: I just keep hoping that our governor gets assassinated.

Bradley International Airport
Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Chick: You see that banner? Okay, well, you see at the bottom where it says, ‘Friendship, Unity, Christian charity’? Now, I can spell, but I still think that they should reconsider their title when the acronym turns out to be F-U-C-C… Oh, come on, I can’t be the only one who finds that funny.

Connecticut

Overheard by: L. M.

Girl #1: If I see one more blonde girl, I am going to freak out.
Girl #2: You know what you should do? Move to Africa.

Hartford, Connecticut

Professor: So, say that you’ve got Brad Pitt… And Angelina got eaten by a giant cobra. And it’s maybe a year later and Brad’s kind of eyeing Jen, and she’s eyeing Vince, and maybe he has an affair with Claire Danes. And now Brad asks you to write an elegy for Angelina. What problems might you run into?

Medieval Literature class
Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Guy: Well, I’m not gay.
Girl: The jury is still out on that.
Guy: Fine. Let me know when the jury gets in.
Girl: Let me know when you have sex again!

Derby, Connecticut

Overheard by: Jess

Little girl, singing: Hey! I’m a crazy bitch, but I fuck so good you’re on top of it when you dream of doing me all night…
Father: What the fuck?! Are you trying to get taken by the social worker?!

Food Court, Connecticut Post Mall
Milford, Connecticut

Man jumping out of port-a-potty like a gymnast: … And he sticks the landing!

Campground
Connecticut

Overheard by: only at DRAM

Macho dude in Student Government Association: I'll smite you with my boobs!

Cafeteria
Tunxis Community College, Connecticut

Overheard by: Girl in Black

White, middle aged music professor: I don’t do sevenths. Homie don’t play that.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Frustrated neighbor: It’s only gay if we do it outside a vagina!

Derby, Connecticut

Overheard by: Jess