Flight attendant: As we prepare to disembark, please check to make sure you have not abandoned any bags, personal items or children. All abandoned items will be divided up among the flight attendants, except the children, who will be given to the captain.
JetBlue Flight
Woman to man: She said that if she leaves her husband, I can have the handcuffs.
UC Berkeley’s campus
Berkeley, California
Guy: My cousin got me this Jesus bracelet in like Cuba or something. It was only a dollar!
Jewish girl: Jesus shouldn’t have a price!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: oh, jesus
Professor: Has anyone ever eaten anything that made them sick, and now they have an aversion to it? [A few students reply.] Yeah, I think it happens to everyone… Like for me, it’s those small, white powdered doughnuts. I just can’t eat them anymore — they taste furry now, and the thought of something furry in my mouth makes me gag. [Pause.] I think I’ve said too much.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: well, now I’m jsut curious…
Mom: I think that I will get him his first Rubik’s Cube. He’d probably eat it.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/he_doesnt_seem_to_be_ready.html
Overheard by: someone who doesnt eat rubik’s cubes
Quartet member #1: … And now for some delicious candy from my stalker!
Quartet member #2: I love her! She’s so sweet!
Musicians’ lounge, Kohl Mansion
California
Dad to table full of preteens: If everyone’s good, they can get one tattoo and one piercing.
Pei Wei, 7th Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Ken
Short girl: I’m gonna go and buy you a birthday card.
Tall girl: Yeah, you didn’t buy me anything for my birthday!
Short girl: Yes, I did! I bought your fingers!
Tall girl: Oh, yeah! [Laughs.]
Magnolia Mall
Florence, South Carolina
Teacher, handing out candy to class: They're really sweet.
Student #1: And they make the roof of your mouth bleed.
Student #2: That's the best part.
High School
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Volleyball girl: How come you have a painting of a football helmet on the wall but nothing for us?
Athletic trainer: I don't know. Maybe I'll paint something for you guys.
Volleyball girl: Yeah! You should paint a whole mirage!
Gustavus Adolphus College
Minnesota
