Guy on cell: Now turn it on and set it to cow mode… Right, but be sure it’s in cow mode… No, you’ll know when it’s in cow mode.

Kroger Grocery
Conway, Arkansas

Overheard by: Not sure I want to know

Woman #1: What do you think ranch dressing goes good on?
Woman #2: Ball sack.

Fayetteville, Arkansas

Overheard by: So What?

Guy: Man, it’s hotter than my mother-in-law back in ’79. She’s not hot no more.

Harvest Foods
Little Rock, Arkansas

Santa: Remember, you have to be very good so I can bring you lots of presents.
Little girl: I have been! I have been!
Santa: I came by your house the other day. Did you know that?
Little girl: Really?! Wow!
Santa: I looked in your window, and I saw lots of messy toys on your floor. And clothes.
Little girl, crying: I was just going to get a glass of water and then go back to clean them up, I promise!
Santa: Whatever.

Park Plaza Mall
Little Rock, Arkansas

Sorority girl: Oh, I forgot: while we were there we met this homeless guy! And then he showed us his house…which I guess was kind of weird.

Mt. Pinnacle
Little Rock, Arkansas

Overheard by: Climber

Cultured student, before exam week: I'm drinking more Earl Grey than Jean-Luc Picard this week.

High School
Little Rock, Arkansas

Young college girl #1: How was your date last night?
Young college girl #2: Okay. I don't think I'm going out with him again, though.
Young college girl #1: Why?
Young college girl #2: He was weird. He asked me to quit texting while we were having dinner.
Young college girl #1: Rude!

Fayetteville, Arkansas

(group of teen girls on field trip)
Bored niece: Hey! Let's call my aunt in California. She's a psychic. (dials phone) Hi, we are bored and thought we'd call and ask you psychic questions.
Bored niece's friend: Ask her what my stage name would be if I became a stripper.

Lake Atlanta Park
Rogers, Arkansas

Overheard by: Yes, I have shoes and all of my teeth.

Guy to hot date: I have a hard-on. We should get this to go.

Buffalo Grill
Little Rock, Arkansas

Overheard by: I should get mine to go, too

Wide-eyed girl #1 exiting class: Did he just–?
Wide-eyed girl #2: –Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #1: But wha–?
Wide-eyed girl #2: –I feel dirty.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #2: Do you… Uh, wait.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Did we just get mind-fucked?
Wide-eyed girl #2: I think so.

Arkansas State University
Jonesboro, Arkansas

Overheard by: What the hell just happened?!