Suit #1: I can’t believe I’ve lost them again!
Suit #2: Are we talking about dildos still or the midgets?
McDonald’s Parking Lot
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: I wish I heard the first part of this conversation
Suit #1: I can’t believe I’ve lost them again!
Suit #2: Are we talking about dildos still or the midgets?
McDonald’s Parking Lot
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: I wish I heard the first part of this conversation
Girl #1: Yeah, that’s not cool, but I understand. He sounds very immature.
Girl #2: He is. It’s such a shame. I laid in bed last night reminiscing about the time I spent with him in bed. It’s like I can still feel it. Too bad he’s such an asshole, and too bad that good dick makes me so… not able to accept what a douchebag a guy really is.
Atlanta, Georgia
Kid: I want to go swimming!
Dad: They don’t have any smoking rooms here, and I gotta smoke. We have to go somewhere else.
Kid: Can’t you just go outside and smoke?
Dad: It’s snowing outside! You’d like it if I had to go out in the cold and snow just so you could go swimming, wouldn’t you?
Kid: But they have a pool here! I want to go in the pool!
Dad: That’s all you do… All you do is think about yourself! I gotta smoke!
204 Hendersonville Road
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Taryn
Girl #1: All they talked about was fannies… And tits… And… Fuckin’… Something else.
Girl #2: Rugby.
Girl #1: Yeah. Rugby.
Warwick
England
Mother to ten-year-old son at supermarket check-out queue: And then we’ll go and look for a dress for me.
Ten-year-old son: I’m not going clothes shopping with you. You go in every shop, you try everything on, you never like anything and come home with nothing and I’m not standing around waiting!
[All male members of the queue cheer.]
Luton
England
Guy #1: What did the bear say when he walked into the bar?
Guy #2: [Blank stare.]
Guy #1: Roarrrr. He’s a fucking bear, what else would he say! [Laughs out loud.]Guy #2: I haven’t seen you in two months, and this is what you start with? You are a fucking idiot.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Amber
Mother, shouting at her child: You get mad at me for the things I don’t do, and you never appreciate the things I do do!
Little girl: Hahaha, you said doodoo!
Los Angeles, California
Thug sitting in traffic yelling into cell: I moved you and the goddamn kids out here! I robbed muthafuckas for you! I’m facing five to ten goddamn years for you, and I can’t even get a goddamn thank you?! Bitch, you drunk?!
Highway
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: scaredspectator
Girl walking to bus stop drunk: I just wanted to walk in, get groped and leave.
Pheasant Run
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Brandon Call
Girl #1: At least he didn’t say what JD said to me the other night. He said I was boring in the bedroom because I didn’t try new things.
Girl #2: Oh my god!
Girl #1: Yeah and I told him, well how am I supposed to know what to do? I was a virgin before you. Well, not literally a virgin, but close enough!
Girl #2: So what are you going to do?
Girl #1: Well, I told him that when we go on vacation, we can have a threesome. But it has to be someone I’ll never see again.
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: Slutgers Girl
