Hobo, pointing to passerby: God is going to cum all over your face!

Westwood Village
Los Angeles, California

Hobo drinking coffee to lady passerby: I’d offer you some, but it’s not that good.
I like it black. And sweet. Ten sugers… This tastes like crap!

In front of coffee truck, 135th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Kier

Crazy hobo passing out flyers: The animals eat the vegetables, and we are the minerals…
Girl, rejecting flyer: No, thanks. I’ve got one already.
Crazy hobo: You’re a communist transvestite on Mars!

Isla Vista, California

Hobo: Wow, you look just like Billy Idol!
Blonde: Um, thanks.
Hobo: No, really. You look good, girl. Wanna share some of my wine?
Blonde: Um, no thanks. I’m good.

San Diego, California

Hobo #1, holding gallon of water: I’ve been trying to drink a lot of water. You need to clear that toxic shit out. You collect lots of, uh, what they called? Endorsements. Your body just builds up these endorsements, and they poison you! I think that’s what they’re called… You know what I mean?
Hobo #2: [Nods knowingly.]

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Rich

Belligerent hobo: Hey, you! Get back here! Open up that bathroom door! Get back here, or I’ll pull out my 401(k) on you!

418 East 34th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Hobo: You ever wanted to punch an asshole in the face? Now's your chance, one dollar! I deserve it! I club baby seals, I vote Republican, I masturbate way too much! Quit laughin' and start punchin!

Church & Duboce
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: C

Hobo #1: Man, you never even realize it — you start to watch The Price Is Right instead of filing your taxes, and then bam — you’re shitting in the park and wiping your ass with newspaper.
Hobo #2: Yeah, man. For me it was Cops.


Hobo woman: So if you stand with one foot on Venus, and one on Mars, it is possible to move earth with a hockey stick.

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Drew

Hobo #1: No matter how you look at it, a swastika is still a swastika.
Hobo #2: (nods in agreement)

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Adam