Hobo #1, holding gallon of water: I’ve been trying to drink a lot of water. You need to clear that toxic shit out. You collect lots of, uh, what they called? Endorsements. Your body just builds up these endorsements, and they poison you! I think that’s what they’re called… You know what I mean?
Hobo #2: [Nods knowingly.] 

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Rich

Belligerent hobo: Hey, you! Get back here! Open up that bathroom door! Get back here, or I’ll pull out my 401(k) on you!

418 East 34th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Hobo: You ever wanted to punch an asshole in the face? Now’s your chance, one dollar! I deserve it! I club baby seals, I vote Republican, I masturbate way too much! Quit laughin’ and start punchin!

Church & Duboce
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: C

Hobo #1: Man, you never even realize it — you start to watch The Price Is Right instead of filing your taxes, and then bam — you’re shitting in the park and wiping your ass with newspaper.
Hobo #2: Yeah, man. For me it was Cops.


Hobo woman: So if you stand with one foot on Venus, and one on Mars, it is possible to move earth with a hockey stick.

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Drew

Hobo #1: No matter how you look at it, a swastika is still a swastika.
Hobo #2: (nods in agreement)

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Adam

Hobo: Hey, man, can you spare a quarter?
Suit: Sure. Here you go.
Hobo: Thanks. [Calling after suit] I like your outfit!


Overheard by: rich

Hobo walking out of convenience store, tapping a pack of cigarettes to his hobo lady: I don’t need you anymore. I got cigarettes.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Matt

Hobo sitting on sidewalk: Hey, can you spare some change?
Student: Sorry, man. I’m as broke as you right now.
Hobo: Grab a seat.


Hobo to tranny prostitute: You rockin’ that dress girl! You the man!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: claire