Eavesdrop DC

Woman pointing at cadaver: Oooh. I’d love one of those for home!


Office whiner: The weather conditions in here are unacceptable.
Manager: Huh?
Office whiner: This office has been climatically compromised, and I have to go home to be warm, and with full pay.
Manager: Sorry, that’s not an option.
Office whiner: Well, then I deserve hazard pay for working under these conditions.
Manager: Again, I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen.
Office whiner, agitated: Well, fine! But I don’t like being cold! [Stomps off to cube.]Manager: Neither do I.


Guy: Man, I have a ton of friends who are Asian. But watch out — if you touch one of them on the head, they’ll kill you.


Dude: Man, I’ve dated two chicks with fake boobs. I mean, what’s up with that?

GW party

Girl on phone: Yeah, he couldn’t get it up, so we just watched Schindler’s List instead.


Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, you're going to have to hang up your phone and run it through the machine.
20-something girl intern: But I'm not a terrorist, and I'm on an important call. Can't I just walk through?
Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, that would be like Timothy McVeigh driving up and asking “hey, can I park my car here?”


Overheard by: Ian

Dude: I think I’ll take the bean bag over the butt sex.


Girl, about guy she had over the previous night: It freaked me out. I told him he had to do a double flush, a courtesy flush, and light a match, or he wasn’t allowed back.


Overheard by:

WASPy college student to cab driver: You’re absolutely right, sir. A curse upon the Saudis.


(in the Georgetown Banana Republic)
Girl #1: I really love this dress, but I think it's a tad too short for work. I'm only supposed to be buying dresses for work right now.
Girl #2: Really? It's not too short for my office. But my boss only hires pretty people, so he likes it when we wear short dresses.
Girl #1: Did you think I'm ugly?
Girl #2: No! Buy the dress and send me your resume.


Overheard by: Ian