Dude checking phone: Terri Schiavo keeps calling me!
The Café du Marquis
Royal Oak, Michigan
Overheard by: Emma
Dude checking phone: Terri Schiavo keeps calling me!
The Café du Marquis
Royal Oak, Michigan
Overheard by: Emma
Bored teen girl in long line: This ChapStick says it hasn’t been tested on animals. How would you test ChapStick on an animal? Like, what animal would you test it on? A walrus?
Comerica Park
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: SayHey
Chick #1: Hey, it’s Todd*!
Chick #2: Oh, he’s a swimmer, right?
Chick #1: Yeah, his tongue swam in my mouth!
Olivet College
Olivet, Michigan
Teen on cell: It doesn’t matter! Two pairs of underwear does not equal one pair of pants!
Michigan State University
Lansing, Michigan
Student #1: It’s so annoying. Every time I skip class I get an unexcused absence.
Student #2: That’s ridiculous.
Detroit Country Day School
Beverly Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: Jman077
Tween boy: Yeah! Yeah! I get what you’re saying! Every age group has something to look forward to. 16-year-olds want to drive, 21-year-olds want to drink, people in their 30s want kids, and you, Grandma — you want to die.
Older sister: Uh… I don’t think that was quite the point…
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Stuckinthecity
Doctor to patient: It’s simply impossible to fall on it! Your ass would not stretch that far for it to go in!
Sparrow Hospital ER
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: laughing intern
Teen #1: Dude, gross!
Teen #2: Come on, man! Don’t act like that, you’ve wondered if it was worth it having your asshole licked during sex, too!
Teen #1: Yeah, but not by a fat Asian chick!
Stranger: Was it worth it?
Modern Skate and Surf
Royal Oak, Michigan
Excited blonde: Guess what I’m getting myself for a Valentine’s Day present? I’m getting tested for STDs!
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: not surprised
Mom to little girl touching display: Honey, don’t do that! [Kid keeps doing it.] I said don’t do that! Do you want to go to Hell?
Little girl, scared: No.
Mom: Then don’t touch that.
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: the girl behind the register
