Mom to little girl touching display: Honey, don’t do that! [Kid keeps doing it.] I said don’t do that! Do you want to go to Hell?
Little girl, scared: No.
Mom: Then don’t touch that.

Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: the girl behind the register

Little boy to teacher: I am the ultimate unicorn!


Little boy: How ’bout you get naked, and I get naked, and then we give naked hugs!

St. Joseph, Michigan

30‐something gay man to friend: I don’t know if he is gay or not, but he worked at Starbucks and he had a lisp.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Peter Piper

Tough guy at urinal: So you live around here?
Tough guy at different urinal: Nope, just pee here.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Cameron

Bimbette on cell: I thought I’d died, and then gone to, like, not heaven.

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Philosophy professor, proving his argument: Therefore, if I don’t get a little crazy, then I’m never gonna survive.

Michigan State University

Overheard by: sjshock

Guy #1: You mean, some girls have naturally curly hair? I thought they just got it permed.
Guy #2: You lived in L.A. for too long.

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Enigmae

Girl #1: He stabbed me in the face, but he awright.
Girl #2: (unintelligible)
Girl #1: Yeah! It’s like he don’t care about my well‐being.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Girl on cell: No, Mom, you don’t understand! The sex toy party was a lot of fun! They just had some great stuff there, okay?

College bus
Allendale, Michigan