Student #1: It’s so annoying. Every time I skip class I get an unexcused absence.
Student #2: That’s ridiculous.

Detroit Country Day School
Beverly Hills, Michigan

Overheard by: Jman077

Tween boy: Yeah! Yeah! I get what you’re saying! Every age group has something to look forward to. 16-year-olds want to drive, 21-year-olds want to drink, people in their 30s want kids, and you, Grandma — you want to die.
Older sister: Uh… I don’t think that was quite the point…

Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Stuckinthecity

Doctor to patient: It’s simply impossible to fall on it! Your ass would not stretch that far for it to go in!

Sparrow Hospital ER
Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: laughing intern

Teen #1: Dude, gross!
Teen #2: Come on, man! Don’t act like that, you’ve wondered if it was worth it having your asshole licked during sex, too!
Teen #1: Yeah, but not by a fat Asian chick!
Stranger: Was it worth it?

Modern Skate and Surf
Royal Oak, Michigan

Excited blonde: Guess what I’m getting myself for a Valentine’s Day present? I’m getting tested for STDs!

Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: not surprised

Mom to little girl touching display: Honey, don’t do that! [Kid keeps doing it.] I said don’t do that! Do you want to go to Hell?
Little girl, scared: No.
Mom: Then don’t touch that.

Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: the girl behind the register

Little boy to teacher: I am the ultimate unicorn!


Little boy: How 'bout you get naked, and I get naked, and then we give naked hugs!

St. Joseph, Michigan

30-something gay man to friend: I don't know if he is gay or not, but he worked at Starbucks and he had a lisp.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Peter Piper

Tough guy at urinal: So you live around here?
Tough guy at different urinal: Nope, just pee here.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Cameron