Dude leaving party: Just remember we have one goal. We have one shared dream, people. It starts with “I” and ends with “no more motherfucking apartheid.”
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Dude leaving party: Just remember we have one goal. We have one shared dream, people. It starts with “I” and ends with “no more motherfucking apartheid.”
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Skanky girl walking down hall to friends: She told me to put my cigarette out… I put it in my bra.
Asher Alternative High School
Detroit, Michigan
Bimbette government teacher, explaining checks and balances: So then, like, the national government says to the state government, “Um, you can’t do that, you little… like, state.”
Canton, Michigan
Professor: So the wars of opium wars were fought because the Chinese didn’t want their citizens smoking their bongos and being loopy.
Student: Wait, bongos?
Professor: Yeah those pipe things… Bongos, right?
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Erika
Professor: Cats aren’t capable of going into your home, judging what items are valuable, and dragging those items away.
Michigan State University
Michigan
Overheard by: sjshock
Girl #1: I can understand the idea behind having an affair…
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s the change of scenery.
Girl #3: The change of dick…
East Lansing, Michigan
Mitt Romney volunteer: So basically I asked my husband if we could please try not to have a baby this year.
Mackinac Island, Michigan
Overheard by: Glad I Chose Fred Thompson
Girl on phone: No, I’m sure she didn’t mean that… No, really, you must have taken it wrong… No! Trust me, I’m sure when she called you a whore she didn’t mean it that way!
Grand Valley State University
Allendale, Michigan
Overheard by: breakin-laker
Boy: I wish everything in the world was made of chocolate.
Grandfather: That would sure be interesting!
Boy: Yeah. Then I could eat my brother…
Waterford, Michigan
Overheard by: Gary Lewis
