Asian guy: Goddamn, that shooter down in the US is gonna give Asians a bad name. Quiet Asian guys will only be able to stay silent for five minutes before people get suspicious.
Mexican guy: Join the club. Down in the US people only think of us as cheap landscapers.
Asian guy: I don?t think we have a lot of Mexicans here.
Mexican guy: That must be why your lawns look so shitty.

Asian native to man with whom she’s holding hands: How do I replace you?


Overheard by: emily

Serious Asian dude: I don't like angry soul food bitches. I like happy soul food bitches.


Overheard by: Neither nor

Fat girl filling out paperwork: Did I have any problems with my pregnancy? No. Well…I lost the baby…
Asian friend: Oh, well…just put “no.”

Planned Parenthood
San Diego, California

Overheard by: CINDI

Asian student on cell: Yeah, yeah. He know her long time. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah. She better than stripper.

University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts

Short Asian chick to tall white guy: Oh my gawd, I've got it! So, heat rises, right? So it's probably all warm up there where you are, and down here with the normal people it's cold, and that's why you don't think it's cold, even though it's freaking freezing! Gawd, I love being an Asian! I come up with the most genius shit!

Muirlands Middle School
La Jolla, California

Weird Asian guy: You’ve never heard about the clitoral frequency?! It’s a certain frequency that only men can hit, and if they hit it then all the women in the area will simultaneously orgasm.
Weird white guy: I’ve heard about the clitoral frequency! If you get an all-male choir to all sing as low as they can go, then they hit it.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: deb

Nerdy Asian guy: My friend is having a problem…
Drunk Asian guy: Can you solve it with your penis?


Overheard by: Amused

Asian girl: Can I have two penises?

Market Street
San Francisco, California

Guy: I’ll do the work and you’ll do the Chinese dance in sexy underwear.
Angry Chinese girl: No!

Overheard by: ad’a