Hobo: Hello, little girl.
Four-year-old girl: I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.
Hobo: Well, your vagina smells like vomit! [Mother gasps.]
Amherst, Massachusetts
Hobo: Hello, little girl.
Four-year-old girl: I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.
Hobo: Well, your vagina smells like vomit! [Mother gasps.]
Amherst, Massachusetts
Girl #1: Well, I guess that answers the question about how vampires make out.
Girl #2: Yup… And it was hot!
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl with squeaky shoes, to mom: Not only am I looking pudgy today, but these shoes keep making fart sounds! I’m wearing fart-shoes, and I hope you’re satisfied!
Kohl’s
Framingham, Massachusetts
Woman on cell: Well, how long will rehab take? Oh, yes, the biting problem… She’s hasn’t broken the skin in a while, though.
DSW Shoes
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mt
Teen boy #1: So, out of all the Disney princesses, which one would you get nasty with?
Teen boy #2: What? That’s gross shit, man. They’re cartoons! You’re disgusting.
Teen boy #1, after pause: So, the Little Mermaid?
Teen boy #2: Word.
Fall River, Massachusetts
Chick: About a year ago I discovered that everything I learned at Harvard was actually through reading Wikipedia just before the exam.
Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Preppy guy on cell: So, you’re pissed. I guess ’cause I lied. Or, yeah, I understand — ’cause I had sex with someone else last night. What was I supposed to do, wake up and say, ‘Oh, hey, I have a girlfriend’ to her? … Look, babe, I love you, but I’m 19 and I’m human.
Drunk guy from dorm window: And an asshole!
Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Drew
Girl in lunch line: Why are there fucking bamboo shoots in this stir fry? What do they think I am, a koala?!
Wellesley College
Wellesley, Massachusetts
Meathead to swooning girls: I’m just gonna eat your ovaries! Raaawwwrrr!
Commonwealth Avenue bus, Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts
Dude exiting cab: Oh! Hi!
Girl on sidewalk, trying to hail cab: Hi.
Dude exiting cab: You’re hot! Wanna make out?
Girl on sidewalk: Not right now.
Dude exiting cab: Slut!
Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
