Dude #1: Hey! Hey! Did you hear? They caught that person who killed those two people!
Dude #2: What?
Dude #1: They caught that person who killed those two people. Or they arrested him, I’m not sure.
Dude #2: Who?
Dude #1: I don’t know. I saw it on TV.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rachel
Dude: So, you’re from Austria, huh?
Austrian foreign student: Yes.
Dude: So, like, kangaroos and shit?
Austrian foreign student: No, that’s Australia. Austria’s in Europe.
Dude: Oh, like Sound of Music?
Austrian foreign student: Yes.
Dude: Like Lederhosen! Fahrvergnügen! Schwarzenegger!
Austrian foreign student: Yes.
Dude: So, do you believe in Hitler? [Austrian walks off.]
Boston, Massachusetts
Man browsing anime collection: [Sneezes.]Bystander: God bless you.
Man browsing anime collection: Yes, yes, I am blessed.
Newbury Comics, Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sinner
Girl #1: Oh my god, I just peed for, like, a hundred years.
Girl #2: Do you ever get scared that the toilet bowl will fill up and the water will touch your bum?
Girl #1: Yes.
Girl #2: Oh my god, me too.
Ladies’ room, Fenway-area bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl on cell: How did the labia reduction go?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Hello, you’re in freakin’ public!
Drunk skater #1: Yeah, he’s gotten a lot nicer since he got butt-raped in France.
Drunk skater #2: Yeah, I heard about that. Is that true?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Michael
Mom trying to remove splinter from son’s hand: I’m sorry it hurts. When we get home you can take a bath. Sometimes that helps splinters come out.
Toddler, in between sobs: Okay… And this time I’ll try not to poop in the tub.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Hannah
Queer: Oh my god, that girl’s dress is so short. I swear her outer labia were hanging out.
Sunset Grill and Tap
Boston, Massachusetts
Drunk chick on cell: Wait! You didn’t like Shaun of the Dead? What’s wrong with you? Never mind, you can’t stick it in me.
Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shotboy
Hobo: Hello, little girl.
Four-year-old girl: I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.
Hobo: Well, your vagina smells like vomit! [Mother gasps.]
Amherst, Massachusetts
