And We’re Fresh Out of Gym-Sock Substitute

Employee to another: You gotta stay focused! He’s gonna run out of meat! You’re letting him run out of meat!

McDonald’s
Asheville, North Carolina

Overheard by: Mrs. BigMac

Posted on October 31, 2024
Advice, Employees, North Carolina

Cowering in Surrender?

Newbie: How do I know when the French toast is done?
Supervisor: When it looks like French toast.

Oceanview Terrace dining hall, UCSD
San Diego, California

Posted on October 23, 2023
Bosses, California, Colleges & Universities, Employees, Food, Questions, Time Management

People Who Work in DC Think There’s a Law Against Bad Weather

Office whiner: The weather conditions in here are unacceptable.
Manager: Huh?
Office whiner: This office has been climatically compromised, and I have to go home to be warm, and with full pay.
Manager: Sorry, that’s not an option.
Office whiner: Well, then I deserve hazard pay for working under these conditions.
Manager: Again, I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen.
Office whiner, agitated: Well, fine! But I don’t like being cold! [Stomps off to cube.]Manager: Neither do I.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/

Posted on September 22, 2023
Eavesdrop DC, Employees, Gripes

Don’t Go Pulling That String in This Country

Pushy rug salesman: Look at these beautiful rugs! How great would they look in your home?
Woman: Yeah, you know, I don’t really need a rug…
Pushy rug salesman: Well, nobody needs a rug!
Woman, angrily: Well, then why are you selling them, sir?!

671 South La Brea Avenue
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: I don’t really need a rug, either

Posted on September 12, 2023
California, Employees, Shopping

Debbie Does Dallas, Eh?

Bar manager: So, did you watch that film I gave you?
Bouncer: Yeah, man — I couldn’t get past the opening credits without a box of tissues.

Bar
Westchester, New York

Overheard by: Tom

Posted on June 30, 2023
Bosses, Employees, Movies, New York, Questions, Words

Instead, I’ll Discuss Your Pain With This Complete Stranger

Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Richmond, Virginia

Posted on June 23, 2023
Ass, Backdoor, Bragging, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Couples, Default, Employees, Girls, Guys, Questions, Sensory experiences, Sexuality, Virginia

So “Oreo Cook” Isn’t a Racial Slur?

Girl: I’ll have the chocolate peanut butter car crunch.
Cashier teenage boy: Ummmm… Yeah, the “car” actually stands for “caramel”.

Gelato Spot
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Fake Blonde

Posted on May 23, 2023
Arizona, Candy, Customers, Employees, Girls, Guys, Teens, Wishes, Words

But I've Told Them We Don't Negotiate with Terrorists.

Children librarian, about girl scout troop outside: Um…they're throwing rocks at the windows.

Library
Suburbia, Illinois

Overheard by: martha

Posted on May 4, 2023
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Illinois, Kids, Violence, Weirdness

…So You Can Steal Their Social Security Checks.

Hispanic cleaning lady, about being a nurse in Mexico: It's not like over there, like say, if you accidentally kill an old person, you have to buy another one.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: high school aide

Posted on April 29, 2023
Compare and contrast, Employees, Latinas, Murder, Shopping, Texas, Weirdness

Aren't You Glad We Can All Joke About Mass Murder Like This?

Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, you're going to have to hang up your phone and run it through the machine.
20-something girl intern: But I'm not a terrorist, and I'm on an important call. Can't I just walk through?
Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, that would be like Timothy McVeigh driving up and asking “hey, can I park my car here?”

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/insert-inappropriate-terrorism-joke.html

Overheard by: Ian

Posted on March 25, 2023
Compare and contrast, Cops, Crimes, Eavesdrop DC, Employees, Offers and requests, Violence

Employees