Employees

Teenage waitress telling baby boomer male customer her medical issues: Yeah, and I got this tail thing right here. (points at lower back) It looks like I'm growing a tail.

Fatz Cafe
Lexington, South Carolina

Airline personnel: We should be boarding the plane at 10:25… If we have a plane.

Airport
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Burt

Waitress: What kind of dressing would you like on your salad? We have French, Thousand Island and Italian.
Gorgeous blond: I’ll have Ranch.
Waitress: No.

Glenwood Springs, Colorado

Angry traveler: The flight’s canceled because of weather?!? Can’t you do something?
Airline counter man: Ma’am, despite my godlike appearance, I cannot control the weather.

O’Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: He’s not so Godlike

Cashier (handing over receipt): Would you like this?
Customer: No, they make babies in my purse…

David’s Supermarket
Whitney, Texas

Teen cashier at checkout: Are you listening to music on an iPod?
Geriatric customer: It’s an iPhone.
Teen cashier: Dude, you’re ballin’.

Columbus, Indiana

Overheard by: Hoosier

TSA agent, looking at ID: So Judy*, how are you doing today?
50-something woman: Fine. How are you?
TSA agent: You know, living the dream.

Security Terminal
Airport, Minneapolis

Victoria’s Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn’t make sense. Then they would be free.

Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey

Overheard by: Philly Joe

Hubby: Absolute power corrupts absolutely, dear.
Wifey: It’s not absolute.
Hubby: It isn’t?
Wifey: No. You’re not bowing.
Cashier: Ooh, I like you.

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

Overheard by: the girl with the hat

Retail lady: He fucked me really hard last night. When I woke up all this liquid came out.

Banana Republic
Orange County, California