Mother to misbehaving five-year-old: Knock it off! I just got you a pedicure!
Forever 21
Lynnwood, Washington
Mother to misbehaving five-year-old: Knock it off! I just got you a pedicure!
Forever 21
Lynnwood, Washington
Little girl in bathroom: But Mommy, I’m working on a really big poop!
Embarrassed mother: Honey, everyone in the bathroom does not need to hear that!
Boston Pizza, 50th Street
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Mom: This is ridiculous! Why are you crying?
Wailing four-year-old: Because I have no reason left to live!
701 Russell Avenue
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Mom to little boy: Son, come get in this car right now and I’ll give you your glue…
Annapolis Mall
Maryland
Overheard by: Lila K
Kid: Hey, where does the line start?
Mom: All the way over there.
Kid: Dear God. My glasses have fooled me yet again!
Kohl’s
Howell, New Jersey
Mom, oblivious to sons sliding on ice through parking lot: So, I guess we want a tree that’s really tall, but not too wide…
Lady, wincing every time boys slide near a moving car: Wow, those two must be a handful, huh?
Mom: Oh, yeah. Actually, I have three, but the youngest is at home because he broke his neck and he’s too hard to cart around.
Syracuse, New York
Little boy wearing necklace: Mom, can I change my name to ‘Elizabeth’?
Frazzled mom: No, I told you — that’s a girl’s name, and you’re a boy.
Little boy: Well, can I change to a girl?
Frazzled mom: Not until you’re eighteen.
Wegmans
Rochester, New York
Five-year-old girl running through aisles: Mommy?! Mommy?!
Mother: Mommy die. Mommy go bye-bye. Mommy drowned. Mommy go kill herself.
Payless Shoes
Huntington Beach, California
Child, about diorama: Mommy, is that real?
Mother: No, it’s all lies. Let’s go.
Museum
Washington, DC
Frustrated mom: For the love of God, stop crying! If you don’t stop, I’m going to shove you back in my uterus, close my legs, and never let you out!
Crying little boy: No! I don’t like it in there!
San Francisco, California
