It's an Essential Part of Your Education

(two 6th-grade boys are sitting on the bus playing with their phones)
Boy #1: Hey, you know “saxophone” sounds a lot like “sexy-phone”!
Boy #2: Haha! Then for short you could call it “the sex”!
Boy #1: (laughs)
Boy #2: It would be like, “Hey, do you know how to play the sex?”
Boy #1: Heh-heh… Yeah, its a very complicated one.
Boy #2: Ew… That's gross.
Boy #1: Yeah, you know where you learn how to do it?
Boy #2: Where?
Boy #1: In college.
Boy #2: No way! I thought we learned everything in 5th grade.
Boy #1: Yeah…but I mean this time they tell you where to stick it in.
Boy #2: Ohhh…

School Bus
Maryland

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on September 4, 2026
Bus, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Kids, Maryland, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Students, Words

Disney May Have Crossed the Line With Whinny the Poo

Drunk girl: I've seen a horse sit on a goddamn toilet!

Pimlico Race Course
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Rachel Isadora

Posted on September 2, 2026
Animals, Default, Drunks, Maryland, Stupidity

Why Parachute Pants Are Making a Comeback

Girl: I will pull my pants up and show you I am not hairy!

University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland

Posted on August 14, 2026
Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Hair, Maryland

A Choice Every Man Must Make at Some Point in His Life

Guy #1: Sure, that is something I have always wanted to do… I mean I would rather fuck a girl in the ass than ummmmmm… go skydiving.
Guy #2: Well said, my man.

Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on July 16, 2026
Backdoor, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Maryland, Wishes

Someone’s Gotta Inspire Hanson’s Next Effort

Guy: What are you showing me? Bruises on your knees? You can’t do that with every guy in the band you know.
Girl: I know. But that would be awesome if I could!

Carroll Community College
Maryland

Overheard by: Left Speechless

Posted on April 29, 2026
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Guys, Maryland, Questions

When Shown That They Do Exist, He Fainted

Grungy dude, pointing to expensive vacuum: You should get this one. It sucks up everything!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but I don’t have much carpet. I need, like, a Broom Vac or something.
Grungy dude: A Broom Vac?! Put down the crack pipe!

Target
Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on April 16, 2026
Advice, Compare and contrast, Couples, Default, Drugs, Girls, Guys, Maryland, Stores, Technology

Which, for Some Reason, Makes Me All Tingly Inside

Woman #1: That’s a wonderful coat.
Woman #2: I hope it stays cold long enough for me to enjoy it.
Woman #1: You know, you’re really brave. I have a fur at home but I can’t stop thinking about those crazy PETA people chasing me down with a van and hurting me.

Sidewalk in front of Grocery Store
Maryland

Posted on March 17, 2026
Animals, Clothing, Fears, Maryland, Stores, Threats, Women

Fool Me Twice, Shame on Morton’s

Freshman girl: Never snort salt.
Other freshman girl: I know, right! It burns so bad!

Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: Shelby

Posted on March 7, 2026
Advice, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Maryland, Sensory experiences, Sorority types, Stupidity, Weirdness

Nas: It’s About Time

Four-year old practising just before the pageant: Hark the herald, angels sing, glory to the New York king!

Church Christmas Pageant
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: thought NY was a Fifedom

Posted on March 5, 2026
Guys, Kids, Maryland, Names, Religion, Singing, US Geography, Words

The Foil Helmet Just Seals in the Knowledge

Student: I have this irrational fear of being clunked over the head and shipped to a country whose alphabet I don’t know, so I’m trying to learn all these alphabets… I must be paranoid, I don’t know.

Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: l_tau

Posted on February 8, 2026
Colleges & Universities, Education, Fears, Geography, Maryland, Mental illnesses, Students, Weirdness