Parenting

Latina: … And so she taught her nephews how to put condoms on by having them practice putting them on her vibrator!
Boy toy: What the fuck? How old are they?
Latina: Eleven.

UCLA, Charles E. Young Drive
Los Angeles, California

Small boy: Dad! Dad! Can I have that?
Father: I've told you before, craving leads to attachment.

Toy Shop
Eastern Suburbs, Sydney
Australia

Little girl to mom: But I am getting real good! Yesterday I didn't get any poop on my hand!

Public Restroom
Iceland

Very well-behaved boy: Mom, I have been so good lately, can I please get a toy?
Very patient mom: Do you have any money?
Very well-behaved boy: Um… no, but you do. I looked in your wallet this morning.
Very patient mom: That's snooping!
Very well-behaved boy: Well, daddy does it all the time!

Salem, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Jenna

Little boy, pointing to tourist: Mom! I can't get on because the American will eat me!

Philippines

Exasperated-sounding woman to small child: If you're not gonna cry properly, then don't cry at all.

http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2006/07/quotebook-2006/

Overheard by: Raptor

Mom, with neck tattoo reading “ape” to toddler daughter picking produce: Put that back. That is not what you think it is.

Wal-Mart
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Kathyp

Man to two-year-old daughter: I drew a face with eyes, nose and mouth. Can you tell me what's missing?
Two-year-old daughter: The boogers in the nose!

Faulconbridge
Australia

Girl, after showing of Juno: I want a baby.
Boyfriend: [Raises eyebrows.]Girl: Not by you, but, you know…

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I'm not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: cgt