Mom, with neck tattoo reading “ape” to toddler daughter picking produce: Put that back. That is not what you think it is.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Kathyp

Man to two‐year‐old daughter: I drew a face with eyes, nose and mouth. Can you tell me what’s missing?
Two‐year‐old daughter: The boogers in the nose!


Girl, after showing of Juno: I want a baby.
Boyfriend: [Raises eyebrows.]Girl: Not by you, but, you know…

Toronto, Ontario

Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I’m not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: cgt

Woman to girl: What exactly is a zombie? My son wants to know. Is it like a ghost?
Girl: A zombie is the living dead. A ghost is just a spirit, while a zombie is the dead body.
Woman: Like Michael Jackson?
Girl: Yes, like Michael Jackson.

Yarmouth, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Six‐year‐old girl: Mum, remember when we went on that airplane?
Distracted mum: Mm‐hmm?
Six‐year‐old girl: Was that paradise?


Overheard by: Wishing I could go holiday there

Tough, burly, tattooed mom: C’mon, honey, you’ll like it!
Tearful four‐year‐old boy: I don’t wanna!
Tough, burly, tattooed mom: Everyone loves the beer store! (pulls boy into beer kiosk)

Collingswood Auction
Farmingdale, New Jersey

Overheard by: not EVERYONE

Girl: We need to go steal more diapers from Target.

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

Six‐year‐old girl: Dad, I want to see snow!
Six‐year‐old girl’s twin: Me toooo!
Dad: But girls, it doesn’t snow down here – you have to go up north for that.
Six‐year‐old girl: Then let’s go up north!
Six‐year‐old girl’s twin: To the North Pole!
Dad: Yeah! But you know what, mom won’t let us.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Guy #1: What is that?
Guy #2, holding sunscreen: Oh, it’s sport sunscreen. My mom made bring it.
Guy #3: Dude. Why do you have so many ointments?
Guy #2: The back of my legs get burnt.
Guy #1: You moisturize?

Canada’s Wonderland
Vaughan, Ontario

Overheard by: Shan