She Crossed a Line I Didn’t Even Know Was There

Latina: … And so she taught her nephews how to put condoms on by having them practice putting them on her vibrator!
Boy toy: What the fuck? How old are they?
Latina: Eleven.

UCLA, Charles E. Young Drive
Los Angeles, California

Posted on November 26, 2023
California, Gossip, Latinas, Parenting

Is There a Toy for Me Anywhere in That?

Small boy: Dad! Dad! Can I have that?
Father: I've told you before, craving leads to attachment.

Toy Shop
Eastern Suburbs, Sydney
Australia

Posted on August 2, 2023
Australia, Dads, Kids, Offers and requests, Parenting, Shopping, Stores, Stupidity, Wishes

Which, As We Both Know, Is More Than We Can Say for Dad.

Little girl to mom: But I am getting real good! Yesterday I didn't get any poop on my hand!

Public Restroom
Iceland

Posted on July 26, 2023
Compliments, Europe, Hands, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Poop, Restroom

Do You Want Me to Divorce You, Too?

Very well-behaved boy: Mom, I have been so good lately, can I please get a toy?
Very patient mom: Do you have any money?
Very well-behaved boy: Um… no, but you do. I looked in your wallet this morning.
Very patient mom: That's snooping!
Very well-behaved boy: Well, daddy does it all the time!

Salem, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Jenna

Posted on June 30, 2023
Family ties, Kids, Moms, Money, New Hampshire, Parenting, Questions, Shopping, Should have used a condom, Toys

Everything He Knows About Americans He Learned from Watching Roseanne Reruns

Little boy, pointing to tourist: Mom! I can't get on because the American will eat me!

Philippines

Posted on June 26, 2023
Asia, Fears, Kids, Moms, Parenting

…If You Ever Want a Seat in the House Of Commons

Exasperated-sounding woman to small child: If you're not gonna cry properly, then don't cry at all.

http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2006/07/quotebook-2006/

Overheard by: Raptor

Posted on June 5, 2023
Advice, Feelings, Moms, Other sites, Parenting, Women

Tragically, Many Kids Don't Recognize a Vegetable When They See One.

Mom, with neck tattoo reading “ape” to toddler daughter picking produce: Put that back. That is not what you think it is.

Wal-Mart
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Kathyp

Posted on May 28, 2023
Kids, Moms, Offspring, Oklahoma, Parenting, Shopping

Little Kids These Days Are Snottier Than Ever

Man to two-year-old daughter: I drew a face with eyes, nose and mouth. Can you tell me what's missing?
Two-year-old daughter: The boogers in the nose!

Faulconbridge
Australia