Florida

Guy to room: If I’m a feminist, do I have to hate men?

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: imnotinmedskool

RA: Does anyone else have a question?
Freshman girl: Yeah, can we park overnight in the parking garage that has the ‘No overnight parking’ sign in front of it?

University of Central Florida
Florida

Overheard by: Christa

Dude on cell: Okay, here’s what you do — invite everyone over, fill the sprinkler systems with paint, and then just see what happens!

Mimi’s Café
Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: MF Orange Slice

Girl #1: Who would you rather sleep with, Dumbledore or Voldemort?
Girl #2: Um, Voldemort.
Girl #1: What?! Why?
Girl #2: I dunno! I mean, Dumbledore’s got that beard… Like, it might get all, you know, up in there.
Girl #1: You’d fuck pure evil because he’s clean-shaven?

Harry Potter party
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: harrynhermione

Girl to guy #1: I hate you. I hate you so much! I hate you more than… Flotsam hates Jetsam!
Guy #2: Shit, dude, I’d watch out.

Jacksonville, Florida

TA: You’ll need a watch to keep track of how long your stories are.
Sorostitute: I have one!
TA: Is it analog or digital?
Sorosititute, after looking at watch for a few seconds: … It has diamonds!

Broadcasting Journalism lab, University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: Don’t rush for HER sorority

Pilot: Sorry for the delay — we are waiting for the cleaning team. Someone had a problem in the washrooms.
Flight attendant: I’d like to remind everyone that you should poop in the toilet — not outside of the hole but in the hole. Thank you for your collaboration.

Flight near takeoff
Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Julien

Man: I just get turned on by nuclear holocausts.

Gateway High School
Florida

Overheard by: Pilbur

Girl #1: You know, I think I really like this guy.
Girl #2: What’s his name again?
Girl #1: Andreas. He’s from Greece. He’s really cute.
Girl #2: Yeah, but be careful with those Mediterranean guys. They seem all well and good, but sooner or later they all try to fuck you in the ass.

Harrison Street and 19th Avenue
Hollywood, Florida

Overheard by: it’s funny ’cause it’s true

Child: Look!
Mom: They’re just flamingos. They don’t do anything.

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Suezahn