Girl, observing a display of plush microbes: I want herpes! I think it’s so cute!
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Girl, observing a display of plush microbes: I want herpes! I think it’s so cute!
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Hipster guy: Yeah, it probably didn’t help that I gave you poison ivy and then threw up on you.
Bar
Columbia, Missouri
Girl #1: Owww, my sternum hurts. Wait…I have one of those, right?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Don’t only boys have sternums?
[pause]Girl #3: I think you’re thinking of scrotum…
University of Scranton
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Friend #1: You’re not inhaling!
Smoking girl: Do I have to inhale?
Friend #1: Yeah. Otherwise you’re not really smoking.
Friend #2: You’re just getting mouth cancer.
Bryn Mawr College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Chick #1: Sarah took her retarded sister-in-law to the game last night. They ended up getting drunk and going to a strip club. She really is retarded.
Chick #2: Like, literally retarded?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Chick #2: Well, that sounds like an interesting night…
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Wish I could’ve been there
Girl #1: He has, like, ACD or something!
Girl #2: You mean ‘OCD.’
Girl #3: No, you mean ‘ADD.’
Girl #1: Wait, no. I meant depression. He has depression.
Wal-Mart
Syracuse, New York
Girl #1: I wish I was sick and he would come visit me… Like Make-a-Wish.
Girl #2: You’re saying you want cancer so Heath Ledger will come visit you?
Girl #1: No! … Kinda…
Laguna Hills, California
Overheard by: me too
Mom, oblivious to sons sliding on ice through parking lot: So, I guess we want a tree that’s really tall, but not too wide…
Lady, wincing every time boys slide near a moving car: Wow, those two must be a handful, huh?
Mom: Oh, yeah. Actually, I have three, but the youngest is at home because he broke his neck and he’s too hard to cart around.
Syracuse, New York
Freshman girl on phone: You're not gonna get HIV from kissing some random… (pause) What? (pause) Well, does he have sores on his lips?
UCSB Dorms
California
Overheard by: KLaugh
