Maladies

Freshman girl on phone: You're not gonna get HIV from kissing some random… (pause) What? (pause) Well, does he have sores on his lips?

UCSB Dorms
California

Overheard by: KLaugh

Guy #1: The deaf people are coming out in droves.
Guy #2: That bad?
Guy #1: Dude, it's like day of the deaf, or night of the living deaf!

Wal-Mart
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Rev Loon

Undergrad, explaining why he can't answer a question: I'm just tired today. I'm sorry.
Very old professor, non-native English speaker: You are tired?
Student: Yes, I'm sick.
Very old professor: What disease do you have?
Student: I…uh, it's just a cold.
Very old professor: Yes, a cold is not considered disease. You are healthy. You are alive!

Classroom, University of Colorado
Boulder, Colorado

Dude: Overall, it was a good weekend… My knees, ass and thumb hurt.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/gotcha.html

Overheard by: clickmehard

Hipster guy: I can't tell if I'm horny or it's just my sinus infection again…

UBC
Canadia

Red-headed friend to blonde friend: If I had a special power it would be to fly!
Blonde friend, seriously: If I had a special power I would have a microwave in my mouth so that I could cook anything I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Red-headed friend: You could never get salmonella again!
Blonde friend: I know, right? It's my best idea yet!

Canada's Wonderland
Toronto
Canadia

Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!

Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: monkey

Preppy girl: I woke up this morning and my legs were so sore! And then I couldn't remember why they were hurting! I was so worried, especially since I went out last night and Wednesday nights are usually when I stay in. And I couldn't remember anything that happened. But then I thought, “Oh, wait, I went to the gym yesterday. That must be it.”

Lawrence Hall, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York

Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!

Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: waiting in line

Drunk gay guy in pub garden, at top of voice: So I got hepatitis c when I was fisting this guy… There was blood everywhere.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep