Maladies

Dude: Overall, it was a good weekend… My knees, ass and thumb hurt.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/gotcha.html

Overheard by: clickmehard

Hipster guy: I can’t tell if I’m horny or it’s just my sinus infection again…

UBC
Canadia

Red‐headed friend to blonde friend: If I had a special power it would be to fly!
Blonde friend, seriously: If I had a special power I would have a microwave in my mouth so that I could cook anything I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Red‐headed friend: You could never get salmonella again!
Blonde friend: I know, right? It’s my best idea yet!

Canada’s Wonderland
Toronto
Canadia

Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!

Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: monkey

Preppy girl: I woke up this morning and my legs were so sore! And then I couldn’t remember why they were hurting! I was so worried, especially since I went out last night and Wednesday nights are usually when I stay in. And I couldn’t remember anything that happened. But then I thought, “Oh, wait, I went to the gym yesterday. That must be it.”

Lawrence Hall, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York

Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!

Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: waiting in line

Drunk gay guy in pub garden, at top of voice: So I got hepatitis c when I was fisting this guy… There was blood everywhere.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Teen to another: I got so excited, I have wet butt syndrome!

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Overheard by: Kristen

Angry security guard lady: Hey! There’s no smoking out here!
Smoker guy #1, wearing dark shades and not sorry: Sorry, we didn’t know.
Angry security guard lady: Well, there’s a sign right next to you.
Smoker guy #2, wearing dark shades: We’re blind — that’s why we’re at the Eye Center.
Security guard lady, laughing loudly: Hahaha! Well, okay!

Kellogg Eye Center
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Ewan Macpherson

Teen girl: I have a fever.
Teen boy: Oh, no! Any vomiting?
Teen girl: Not yet.
Teen boy: Damn!

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Greg