Mother to impatient son: Do you want to show me how you count?
Five-year-old: Ok. One. Two. Three. Fuck.
Mother: What!? Adam*, you know you’re not supposed to say…
Four-year-old: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Mother: Adam*, I said stop! That’s a very, very bad word.
Four-year-old, putting hands on ears: You fuck, you fuck, you fuck.
Holt Renfrew
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: M
Seven-year-old girl: Mom, when I grow up I wanna be big and beautiful.
Mom: What?
Seven-year-old girl: You heard me, big and beautiful!
Target, Connecticut
Woman with four kids in front of a bondage window display: See that? That’s what I want to do to your dad, get him all tied up and just whip the shit out of him!
The Crypt
Denver, Colorado
Little kid in stroller: Ouaf! Waf! Ggrrr! Ouaf!
Mom: Oh yeah! Yeah!
Little kid in a stroller: Ouaf! Waf! Ggrrr! Ouaf!
Mom: Yeah! That’s it. Yeaaaah!
St Laurent Boulevard
Montréal
Canadia
Overheard by: Augustime
Mother, to three-year old in stroller: Oh, ha ha ha! You’re retarded.
Paducah, Kentucky
Mother to daughter: You don’t want to piss me off in the happiest place on earth!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Fat kid: Mom, I wanna go on a diet.
Fat mom: You don’t need to go on a diet, you’re too young!
Fat kid: You aren’t too young.
Fat mom: Shush.
Meat Section at Publix
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Trevor Allen
Mother to ten-year-old son at supermarket check-out queue: And then we’ll go and look for a dress for me.
Ten-year-old son: I’m not going clothes shopping with you. You go in every shop, you try everything on, you never like anything and come home with nothing and I’m not standing around waiting!
[All male members of the queue cheer.]
Luton
England
Six-year-old girl, gyrating hips: Mommy! Mommy! This is how babies are made!
Mother: That’s nice.
Gap Store, Stanford Shopping Center
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: this is why I don’t shop at the gap
