Dorks, Geeks & Nerds

Nerd: She was like, ‘That’s so cute!’ and then I came all over her face!

Baylor University
Waco, Texas

Overheard by: kindaDisgusted

Dork #1: Yeah, but Super Mario had the princess…
Dork #2: I’d rather fuck the squirrel [in Sonic] than that square-ass bitch!

Overheard by: thomas

Undergrad #1: Man, it would suck if you died by drowning in molasses.
Undergrad #2: Well, better than being raped.
Undergrad #1: True. Well, unless you were diabetic. Then the molasses would be, like, raping you.

Harvard research lab
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: random person

Tech enthusiast: Wait, did you say ‘cyber sex’?
Dude: No — cyborg sex.
Tech enthusiast: Cyborg sex? That’s even better!

Nerd guy: Did you get a haircut?
Indie girl: No. Why?
Nerd guy: Your bangs are on the other side.
Indie girl: Oh, I didn't shower today.

Godfrey, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Fat, bike-riding nerd, to no one: Turning on the afterburners… Yeah, baby… Accelerating!


Nerdy girl to three friends: Of course you run the risk of showing your underpants, but in the face of zombies, I wouldn't mind so much.

University of King's College
Halifax, Nova Scotia

Overheard by:

Weird Asian guy: You’ve never heard about the clitoral frequency?! It’s a certain frequency that only men can hit, and if they hit it then all the women in the area will simultaneously orgasm.
Weird white guy: I’ve heard about the clitoral frequency! If you get an all-male choir to all sing as low as they can go, then they hit it.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: deb

Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is 'bloodbath'.

Catholic University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Ditto.

Random board gamer: Settlers of Catan was created in the bowels of hell to make otherwise intelligent people say: “I have wood for sheep.”

Epoch Coffee
Austin, Texas