Overheard at Western

They Sell a Kit for That, Too

Professor: It’s like IKEA — you buy some furniture, think you can put it all together, you go home and fail and then go slit your wrists in the corner.

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/or-stab-yourself-in-eye-with-allen-key.html

Overheard by: shawn

Oh, Fuck — Go Ahead and Hit Me

Girl: Hey, quit staring at my breasts!
Guy #1: Yeah, why are you staring at my girlfriend’s breasts?
Guy #2: Well, man, see… It’s like this — she’s like my sister.

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: lissa

Psh, What Fun Would That Be?

Girl to stupid friend: If you’re going to lie, check your geography first.

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: stephanie

And Flossing Doesn’t Seem to Have Helped

Chick #1: I have toothpaste on my crotch.
Chick #2: Uh… What?
Chick #1: I was brushing my teeth this afternoon and I got excited.

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/was-it-electric-toothbrush.html

Overheard by: natalie

Girl: Yeah, Three Strokes and Out, WTF?

Guy #1: I totally told her I wasn’t with anyone else on my cruise, but I clearly slept with another girl!
Guy #2: Victory!

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: shannon

Not Much of a ‘Break’ at All, Really

Girl: So, what did you do over the break?
Guy: Well, I beat off a lot.

Saugeen snack bar
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/03/wanna-share-this-cookie.html

Overheard by: eric

I Should Probably Stop Rimming the Collie

Chick #1: What’s wrong?
Chick #2: Today I spent, like, an hour getting a dog hair out of my eyeball.
Chick #1: What? How did you do that?
Chick #2: I don’t know, but every day I wake up with dog hair in my eyeballs.

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: christina

Look That Up in the Fetish Dictionary

Chick: I just want to rub some ointment containing scopolamine and atropine on a broomstick, stick it in my cooch, and fly away!

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/pssh-everyone-feels-this-way-sometimes.html

Overheard by: tiffany

He’s a Lousy Dater but the Best Darned Scarf Salesman in His Jurisdiction

Girl #1, after watching lousy pick-up artist with her friend: So, was that your future husband?
Girl #2: He just gave me this feeling… It was like I’d never be warm again.

London Tap House
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/02/dementors-night-out.html

I Was Outvoted on That One

Chick on cell: I’m doing my paper on child euthanasia… Yeah, they’d have to be terminally ill, not just ugly kids.

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/what-about-fat-kids.html

Overheard by: natalie

© 2024 OverheardEverywhere.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist