Receptionist, explaining e-mail to coworker: Or she may have even did the grammar slightly off.

Arizona State University

Girl, to friends: So then she e-mailed us all, and she was like, “We just ate an African baby!”

Memorial University
St. John's
Newfoundland, Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Pubescent boy screaming at elderly passerby: Fuck you! Fuck you! You, right there! Fuck you! (aside) Man, I gotta write an email. (screaming again) Your mother has a dick!

Eastchester, New York

Girl to friend: Then she sends him an e-mail saying that she wants his baby inside her. Talk about mixed messages.

Fred's Diner
Akron, Ohio

Overheard by: Adam

Drunk chick: I wouldn’t have known I hooked up with anyone if I hadn’t found his swipe card in my bra on the floor… Should I send him an e-mail?

Washington and Lee University
Lexington, Virginia