Meathead: That’s the type of woman I want to marry. I’ll bend her over, then we can have hairy Aryan babies and eat hummus together. God, what I wouldn’t do to her!
Pleased girl with him: You know, I’m really glad I decided to invite you instead of Joe!

Cedar Point
Sandusky, Ohio

Overheard by: Ckiska

Drunk guy #1 to guy he just met: I just get sick of people when they come over. My dad, my brother — after an hour, I’m sick of them.
Drunk guy #2: Oh, yeah?
Drunk guy #1: Yeah. And another thing I hate? Let’s say you come over tonight and spend the night — you can’t sleep on the couch.
Drunk guy #2: Why not? Where would I sleep?
Drunk guy #1: Because there are no sheets on it! I don’t want your body fluids on my couch. But you could sleep in the bed.

Cleveland Heights, Ohio

Overheard by: Is that an offer?

Dude: So, is it true that you have herpes?
Drunk girl #1: What?! No!
Dude: Thank god!
Drunk girl #1: I had chlamydia and now I have HPV. I only told two people, and now the whole town thinks I have herpes!
Dude: [Stares.]Drunk girl #1, crying: Why does everyone know about my diseases?!
Drunk girl #2: Because you go to the bar, get trashed, and yell about it?

Newark, Ohio

Father looking at sign: Look! You could work here when you start school.
Son: Why would I want to work here? They can’t even spell ‘prerequisite’ right.
Father: That’s because it’s per-quisite.


Overheard by: glad to be sharing a school with this kid

Customer to clerk: Maybe my idea of sex is sticking a drill in your head.

Visible Voice Books
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: phoebe

11-year-old boy: Let’s go fuck some girls!

Delhi Skatepark
Cincinnati, Ohio

Physics professor: Hey! Listen up! I’m tired of some of you walking out or ignoring me when we talk about the Big Bang Theory. I’m not telling you God doesn’t exist, so don’t get your panties in a bunch! You! Sit down! Let me finish!

Kent State University
Kent, Ohio

Teen to friend: He's always making fun of the holocaust.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Dude to older lady: What do you mean, you don’t know what a hooker is? [To security guard] Hey, tell my mother what a hooker is.

Columbus, Ohio

Stoner: That’s like saying Jesus and Gandhi are the same. A Gandhi would be the cinnamon bun and Jesus would be the cinnabon.

100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio