Chick: So like three weeks ago, after I gave birth, we went to this club…
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Chick: So like three weeks ago, after I gave birth, we went to this club…
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Girl to friends, emphatically: No, we have nipples so that we can milk our children!
Newton, Massachusetts
Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I’m not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: cgt
Female student: I feel like I have a really tough skin, because I was always teased by my dad from the moment I was born.
Male student (in very serious, philosophical tone): Scorn was your breast milk.
University of Southern California
Overheard by: Got milk?
Mother to teen daughter: And then you, me, and your aunt can mount the pillow like last time.
Wal‐Mart
Augusta, Georgia
Overheard by: Annissa
Young woman on cell: I kiss my grandpa on the mouth, have I made out with him?
Palo Alto, California
Loud girl: And my mother said to me, “Well, I guess you’re an adult now, since you have adult sex.” And I was like, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” and she was like, “I opened your cupboard.” and I was thinking, “Oh shit!” because I’ve got a lot of shit in there. I’ve got porn, I’ve got a vibrator, a cock ring. I’ve got things she doesn’t even know what to call them!
University of Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alex Remnick
Tall gay 20‐something male on cell: My niece died. I need a Fresca.
CVS
Boston, Massachusetts
Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn’t look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That’s why I don’t look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don’t wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!
Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Chick: Well, my mom wouldn’t let me on the train until I wore pants, so there ya go.
Southmoor station
Aurora, Colorado
