Female employee, seeing lunch being prepared: Oh, Kielbasa! I love Kielbasa! You know how I like my Kielbasa?
(pause)
Fireman #1: On your knees?
Fireman #2: In your mouth?
Maine
20-something to mother: She's really cute on the rare occasions when she has a tennis ball in her mouth.
Supermarket
Caroline Springs, Victoria
Australia
Mother to crying toddler: Shut your mouth and go ski somewhere!
Bear Peak, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Leigh