Professor: No drinking and driving this weekend! No drugs! …and no babies.

Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Sara

Lady holding bottle of Chardonnay: Does this taste like a white wine?

New Albany, Indiana

Overheard by: liquor store counter jockey

Thug filling out employment application: Hey, when you say, ‘Have you ever been convicted of a felony?’ do you mean found guilty, or just sort of accused and arrested?

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: maybe he shouldn’t use the plastic silverware…

Belligerent hobo: Hey, you! Get back here! Open up that bathroom door! Get back here, or I’ll pull out my 401(k) on you!

418 East 34th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Birthday girl: Not to be mean, but I’m kind of glad Jeff* can’t come to my birthday party. Now I can invite Kelly*.
Friend: Why couldn’t you before? Not enough seats?
Birthday girl (long pause): No. Because Jeff’s brother got her sister pregnant.
Friend: Oh, yeah.

University of Notre Dame
Notre Dame, Indiana

Overheard by: iz

Guy, walking into Planned Parenthood: Hey, I just locked my keys in my car that’s just around the corner. Can I borrow a coat hanger?
Girl working front desk: Uh, do you know where you are?
Guy: No.
Girl working front desk: Well, we keep ’em in the back!

Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: Morgan Roddy

Flight attendant to woman putting luggage in the only overhead compartment left: Ma’am, if you put your luggage there, but go way up front, when the plane lands, you’ll have to wait to deplane until everyone else has because you can’t go back here if you’re up front when people are trying to exit the plane.
Woman: But this is my only option!
Flight attendant: You could sit in the back.
Woman: No!

Allegiant Airline
Ft. Wayne, Indiana

Overheard by: ISPgypsy

Seven‐year‐old: You can’t be a rock star. Everyone wants to be a rock star. You have to be something else.
Six‐year‐old: Fine! I’ll be a fucking barber!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Physics professor, talking about static electricity: So why does it work when I’m sliding in a car with carpet seats wearing my wool sweater and not work when I’m sliding in a car with leather seats in my leather outfit?
Students: (shocked silence)
Professor: I mean…I don’t…ummmm, moving on…

University of Evansville
Evansville, Indiana

Geek to friend: You need to get her something she can use in bed… Like a puppet.

Gen Con Indy
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Matt