Indiana

Girl: You were being cocky!
Upset ex-boyfriend: No, I wasn’t!
Girl: You couldn’t get any cockier if you had dicks coming out of your ears and eyeballs.

Elkhart, Indiana

Overheard by: ashley

Student: Man! Question number four on that exam? The one about chickens was so hard… It took me forever.
Teacher: Well, it seemed tricky, but the problem was really pretty straightforward. It just involved birds instead of mammals.
Student: … Chickens are birds?

Bloomington, Indiana

Mother: If a man ever hurts you, spit in his face, then cut his dick off and hand it to his mama.
Nine-year-old daughter: What if it’s my brother?

Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: rideabike

Physics professor, talking about static electricity: So why does it work when I'm sliding in a car with carpet seats wearing my wool sweater and not work when I'm sliding in a car with leather seats in my leather outfit?
Students: (shocked silence)
Professor: I mean…I don't…ummmm, moving on…

University of Evansville
Evansville, Indiana

Professor: No drinking and driving this weekend! No drugs! …and no babies.

Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Sara

Lady holding bottle of Chardonnay: Does this taste like a white wine?

New Albany, Indiana

Overheard by: liquor store counter jockey

Thug filling out employment application: Hey, when you say, ‘Have you ever been convicted of a felony?’ do you mean found guilty, or just sort of accused and arrested?

Wendy’s
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: maybe he shouldn’t use the plastic silverware…

Belligerent hobo: Hey, you! Get back here! Open up that bathroom door! Get back here, or I’ll pull out my 401(k) on you!

418 East 34th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Birthday girl: Not to be mean, but I'm kind of glad Jeff* can't come to my birthday party. Now I can invite Kelly*.
Friend: Why couldn't you before? Not enough seats?
Birthday girl (long pause): No. Because Jeff's brother got her sister pregnant.
Friend: Oh, yeah.

University of Notre Dame
Notre Dame, Indiana

Overheard by: iz

Guy, walking into Planned Parenthood: Hey, I just locked my keys in my car that's just around the corner. Can I borrow a coat hanger?
Girl working front desk: Uh, do you know where you are?
Guy: No.
Girl working front desk: Well, we keep 'em in the back!

Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: Morgan Roddy