Student: Man! Question number four on that exam? The one about chickens was so hard… It took me forever.
Teacher: Well, it seemed tricky, but the problem was really pretty straightforward. It just involved birds instead of mammals.
Student: … Chickens are birds?
Bloomington, Indiana
Mother: If a man ever hurts you, spit in his face, then cut his dick off and hand it to his mama.
Nine-year-old daughter: What if it’s my brother?
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: rideabike
Physics professor, talking about static electricity: So why does it work when I'm sliding in a car with carpet seats wearing my wool sweater and not work when I'm sliding in a car with leather seats in my leather outfit?
Students: (shocked silence)
Professor: I mean…I don't…ummmm, moving on…
University of Evansville
Evansville, Indiana
Professor: No drinking and driving this weekend! No drugs! …and no babies.
Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Sara
Lady holding bottle of Chardonnay: Does this taste like a white wine?
New Albany, Indiana
Overheard by: liquor store counter jockey
Thug filling out employment application: Hey, when you say, ‘Have you ever been convicted of a felony?’ do you mean found guilty, or just sort of accused and arrested?
Wendy’s
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: maybe he shouldn’t use the plastic silverware…
Belligerent hobo: Hey, you! Get back here! Open up that bathroom door! Get back here, or I’ll pull out my 401(k) on you!
418 East 34th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Birthday girl: Not to be mean, but I'm kind of glad Jeff* can't come to my birthday party. Now I can invite Kelly*.
Friend: Why couldn't you before? Not enough seats?
Birthday girl (long pause): No. Because Jeff's brother got her sister pregnant.
Friend: Oh, yeah.
University of Notre Dame
Notre Dame, Indiana
Overheard by: iz
Guy, walking into Planned Parenthood: Hey, I just locked my keys in my car that's just around the corner. Can I borrow a coat hanger?
Girl working front desk: Uh, do you know where you are?
Guy: No.
Girl working front desk: Well, we keep 'em in the back!
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Morgan Roddy
Flight attendant to woman putting luggage in the only overhead compartment left: Ma'am, if you put your luggage there, but go way up front, when the plane lands, you'll have to wait to deplane until everyone else has because you can't go back here if you're up front when people are trying to exit the plane.
Woman: But this is my only option!
Flight attendant: You could sit in the back.
Woman: No!
Allegiant Airline
Ft. Wayne, Indiana
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
