Man to two‐year‐old daughter: I drew a face with eyes, nose and mouth. Can you tell me what’s missing?
Two‐year‐old daughter: The boogers in the nose!
Faulconbridge
Australia
Man to two‐year‐old daughter: I drew a face with eyes, nose and mouth. Can you tell me what’s missing?
Two‐year‐old daughter: The boogers in the nose!
Faulconbridge
Australia
Chick to friend: Well, it’s not as if you were ever going to be elected president of the cock fan club, now was it?
Melbourne University
Australia
Overheard by: Wylis
Six‐year‐old girl: Mum, remember when we went on that airplane?
Distracted mum: Mm‐hmm?
Six‐year‐old girl: Was that paradise?
Train
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Wishing I could go holiday there
Mother weighed down with shopping bags: Mummy needs a coffee now, honey.
Six‐year‐old daughter: But Mummy, I wanna look at–
Mother: –Mummy needs coffee or she will die.
Greensborough Plaza, Main Road
Greensborough
Australia
Grandmother, about tantrum‐throwing child: I think it might be time to put her to sleep.
Mother: Yeah. Come on honey, we’ll go home and have a nap!
Grandmother, under her breath: That’s not what I meant.
Westfield Shopping Center
South Morang
Australia
Teen #1: So he’s running around with his dick like slapping his abs and he goes “what time you wanna come over?“
Teen #2: His Puerto Rican dick?
Teen #1: Yeah!
Teen #2, sighing dreamily: Oh yeahhhhh.
Flinder’s Street Station
Melbourne
Australia
Boy: Have you seen Rainman?
Friend: Nah.
Boy: Ohmigod, I can’t believe you haven’t seen Rainman! I mean I haven’t seen Rainmanbut I can’t believe you haven’t seen Rainman!
Newcastle‐Sydney Train
Australia
[Line for ladies’ room]Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It’s urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh…[Suppresses laugh.]
Western Australia
Australia
Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: monkey
