Gas station worker #1, pointing to arm: … And right here is where I got stabbed.
Gas station worker #2: No way! That’s the exact same place I got stabbed! Same arm, too!

Pittsford, New York

Overheard by: Rook

Chick: I’m not the one who decided to take her to a gay strip club. I just participated in it. I’m not taking responsibility.

Garden State Plaza, New Jersey

Freshman chick #1: It’s like, I came home and, like, three months had passed for me, but, like, not for everyone else.
Freshman chick #2: Yeah, my bed is too short now.

Denver International Airport
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: lith

Party-goer: She is the only person I know who has a favorite appliance!

Moroccan restaurant
Seattle, Washington

Crunchy hippie: We were on the way to the bee colony to harvest some honey, but then I thought, Dude! It’s time for a drum circle.

House of Musical Traditions
Takoma Park, Maryland

Girl, about sister’s boyfriends: That was Bob* — he wanted to marry her.
Guy: Bob was kinda creepy.
Girl: Bob was not creepy! He had a job.
Guy: If that’s your only qualification for ‘not creepy’–
Girl: –He just faked his own death. But he got it out of his system — he won’t do it again.


Overheard by: much less bored now

Carpool driver, noticing woman at bus stop: She has art between her legs.


Overheard by: b!X

Drunken bimbette: First of all, Francesca feels really bad about taking my dad’s money when he was in a coma…

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: another margarita, please!

Creepster: … And that’s why all the women in Paris wanted to stroke my head.


Overheard by: Laura

Rollerblading guy #1: … And that’s when I’ll finally know that I’m successful… When I’m sitting on my throne of skulls.
Rollerblading guy #2: Uhhh… Sure, man.

Church and Shuter Streets