Hipster boy: I mean, yeah, I’d buy it, but I would not have sex with it. I wouldn’t fuck it. I’d just buy it.
Oberlin, Ohio
Hipster boy: I mean, yeah, I’d buy it, but I would not have sex with it. I wouldn’t fuck it. I’d just buy it.
Oberlin, Ohio
Roommate #1, awkwardly: Hey, do you think we could talk about, um, what happened on Friday?
Roommate #2: Oh?
Roommate #1: We were in here, and you were saying that my board hasn’t done anything yet and we’re misusing student funds by going on a board retreat. Remember that?
Roommate #2: Oh.
Roommate: Well, then I got up and went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of lemon and honey tea…
Roommate #2: Okay…
Roommate #1: Well, I used Angie’s* lemon juice right in front of you, and I think you saw me, and I was wondering if that offended you.
Roommate #2: No, I didn’t even notice.
Roommate #1: Oh, okay… Good… Because it’s been on my mind all weekend, and I just wanted to clear that up because it seemed like you were mad at me after that.
Canadia
Hipster on cell: She’s not ugly, she’s just not leave-your-girlfriend-pretty.
McDonald’s
Morristown, New Jersey
Naked old man: You know, they say you really shouldn’t hang meats anymore.
Fully-clothed hipster: … Really?
YMCA locker room
Chicago, Illinois
Chick to friend: I’m telling you — he’s a communist leprechaun posing as a democrat!
Auburn, New York
20-something artist dude in loin cloth: … And then I realized — it’s not about the panties at all!
Burning Man
Black Rock Desert, Nevada
Overheard by: lith
Chick on boat at company party: So, your brother-in-law inherited the porn collection of a dead man? … Okay, just making sure I understood what we were talking about.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: stuck on a boat
Chick on cell: Haha, she thought it was a baby in the womb, but then I told her it was just sushi!
Toronto Eaton Centre
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Hipster guy to chick: You know, if you drink a lot of Tabasco, your shit will really burn… No, I don’t mean it will hurt. I mean you can light it on fire and it will keep you warm when it’s cold out.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/care_to_present_a_demonstratio.html
Overheard by: hungry muppet
Chick, to teacher: Do you remember the Geto Boys, with the black dwarf who now raps for Jesus and got shot in the face by his girlfriend so now his eye is all slack?
Rest of class: … What?
High school classroom
Englewood, Colorado
