Chick #1: What’s your favorite color?
Chick #2: Blue. What about you?
Chick #1: Well, I like the rainbow. And I know that fur’s not a color, but I really like fur.


Overheard by: flossy.

Girl: I’m using super advanced alien technology!
Guy: I’m using… a pumpkin!

Wheaton, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

30-year-old woman on cell: I think I should just call Lisa* and ask her if she has cancer, because she is way too normal. There has to be something wrong with her.

Ferry line
Nantucket, Massachusetts

Burly dude: No, seriously, the thing about anal is it’s warmer, tighter, and you hardly ever get shit on your dick!

High school cafeteria
Lawrenceville, Georgia

Overheard by: we were scared for his tiny girlfriend

Queer: So, that pretty much sums it up.
Fag hag: Wow.
Queer: It’s actually pretty usual for gays, I’m just not into it.
Fag hag: Wow. I am so scared of gay men right now.
Queer: Sweetie, it’s not like a hamster wearing galoshes is [bus goes by so rest is inaudible].
Fag hag: Like summer camp.

Bus stop
Gainesville, Florida

Gas station worker #1, pointing to arm: … And right here is where I got stabbed.
Gas station worker #2: No way! That’s the exact same place I got stabbed! Same arm, too!

Pittsford, New York

Overheard by: Rook

Chick: I’m not the one who decided to take her to a gay strip club. I just participated in it. I’m not taking responsibility.

Garden State Plaza, New Jersey

Freshman chick #1: It’s like, I came home and, like, three months had passed for me, but, like, not for everyone else.
Freshman chick #2: Yeah, my bed is too short now.

Denver International Airport
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: lith

Party-goer: She is the only person I know who has a favorite appliance!

Moroccan restaurant
Seattle, Washington

Crunchy hippie: We were on the way to the bee colony to harvest some honey, but then I thought, Dude! It’s time for a drum circle.

House of Musical Traditions
Takoma Park, Maryland