Guy: So, I heard your daughter is walking around half-naked. Congratulations!
Harvest Faire
Newport News, Virginia
Guy: So, I heard your daughter is walking around half-naked. Congratulations!
Harvest Faire
Newport News, Virginia
Woman: My sister and I slept together in the same bed until we were three. That was when she tried to light the house on fire.
Dalai Lama public speech, Olympic Centennial Park
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Alice
College dude on cell: It will be the same thing — we’ll go out drinking, she’ll drink too much, she’ll cry on my shirt, and then she’ll pass out and I’ll have to carry her home. Happens every time… Because, dude, she’s my girlfriend. It’s what we do… Because! It’s what everyone does.
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: not his girlfriend
Man on cell: … So I just put her in the closet, because she’s very quiet…
Military Road and 41st Street NW
Washington, DC
Poor college kid #1: So, you used to break into cars?
Poor college kid #2: Yeah.
Poor college kid #1: How was that?
Rochester, New York
Older woman: So, I was at my parents’ house this weekend and there were some condoms sitting on the table…
Friend: What?
Older woman: Yeah. So I asked my mom, ‘Why do you need condoms?’ And she said, ‘It’s for easier clean up.’
Friend: Gross!
Older woman: Yeah… So that’s why I stopped asking my parents questions.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Emily I
Boy to mother: If there’s one thing I know about little people, it’s that they love playhouses.
ShopKo
Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Andre
Dude standing in line: Because when I see Kit Kats, I think home pregnancy tests.
Wegmans
Rochester, New York
Stoner chick: Some people get offended when I tell them I don’t want to be a lesbian during certain times of the year.
Bakersfield, California
Girl #1: So, this guy, like, offers to take her up to his room, and I was like, ‘Um, don’t think so!’
Girl #2: Oh my god, totally! Yeah!
Girl #1: So I, like, carried her up to my room.
Girl #2: Did you know her at all?
Girl #1: No! But she was pretty drunk, so I, like, made sure she was, like, comfortable or whatever. Then I went down the hall to go to the bathroom, and I come back and she, like, threw up. Like, everywhere.
Girl #2: Was she still there?
Girl #1: No, she was gone! But it smelled really bad.
Girl #2: Ewww! That’s so gross.
Villanova University
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Bored In Class
